And suddenly JOY
I bought a large container of buttermilk this week because I thought we’d try to do spontaneity and have some friends over for pancakes, or I thought Jerri would be home and we’d have her over for pancakes since she’s just getting back from her nephew’s funeral, or I thought we’d have some others over for pancakes because their kids play well with Tin. And instead, since we came home at 2AM and slept in, we opted to just have family pancakes.
As I was in the kitchen cooking, I looked out at the bayou where school kids were walking with bags as if on a clean up day or on some mission; there were about twenty five of them walking by. Tin was in his crib, refusing to get out, his latest on taking control of his life:
The sun was shining on the bayou just right, not glaring into the house like it has been in the summer, and the kids were in a jolly mood with their big white plastic trash bags, and Tin was humming in the back, and we had the folk playlist on, and I had one of those incredible moments of joy and I know joy having experienced it before and I have this to say about joy, it is a very now feeling, you can’t have joy except in the moment, and when you have it, it is a very declarative feeling that envelopes you and let’s you know that you are alive right now, in the best possible moment, surrounded by love and beauty and the riches of life.
It’s a pretty astonishing feeling and it makes all the yucky feelings of uncertainty and sadness and anxiety and fear pale in comparison because joy trumps everything else in that moment, and though it is oh so fleeting, it is oh so powerful.