No answers in the back of the book
So here’s my horoscope – it seemed the writer was in a pensive mood:
September 21, 2010
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Taurus (4/20-5/20)So, what’s been happening in your love life lately? A good place to start, when you answer that question, is with yourself. Whether you’re single or solidly committed, how are you feeling? Connected, disconnected? What are your expectations of a relationship? What are your expectations of a life? Do you think people are meant to be together or are fundamentally alone? How do expectations play out in the way you relate to others? Food for thought, eh?
So here’s my answer – there is no right answer – is being coupled up better than being alone – yes and no? Depends on the timing, there are times I would say yes or no equally. In the larger view, being alone is what I usually crave which is why I work alone, why I go for walks alone, prefer to ride my bike alone, which is why my activities such as reading, writing, and solitary bike rides are more about being alone. But I also love to be in a relationship that is satisfying, where we have joint experiences, joint goals, support and love and common ground. I saw a statistic that suggested parenting is either than marriage and that’s probably true.
According to one thing I read a long time ago, marriage is about two people who come together seeking out what they lack in the other, then over time they intertwined and should be able to embody the traits they lacked and then disentangle and continue to grow side by side. That is difficult. I like that T is laid back – will I ever have be, I sincerely doubt it. She likes my direct, take charge personality, does it sometimes make her crazy, yes. Partnerships from where I stand now are about constant tweaking and negotiation – as I said before, I’d like to believe that the person I was when I entered this relationship is capable of being greater than the sum of my parts. And more importantly, I hope to see in T a larger picture than the one I have come to expect. Only then will we be able to transform ourselves into true life long partners that matter.