Sex and no fear
The nanny was here today even though it’s a holiday and so we took advantage and stole away to see a movie – only there weren’t any movies really playing because it’s New Orleans and we are last to get new releases if we get them at all. Karate Kid, maybe. We opted for Sex and the City Part 2 – yes, even though it was panned by everyone and then some. We just wanted a mindless movie and it delivered.
On some level somewhere the movie made me think about this one overarching emotion – fear. How most of what we do in life is based on fear – based on fear that we might have changed, based on fear that we have not changed, based on fear that the person we love may change, or hasn’t changed enough, or based on fear that our life as we know it right now could change, or hasn’t changed.
Some friends of ours are back in town after being gone for a year, we had them over for an intimate 4th of July with a couple of other friends. One sent a note that it was great to see us. I wrote back, imagine the last time we saw you was at your house and we did not have a son. Pretty weird.
Time goes by so fast. How many 4th of Julys have you had in your life? And yet, we seem to hardly have time for the ones we love, the things we love, even for loafing and for ignoring all that we love.
But I digress, it’s fear that made me think about a lot of things this afternoon. I feared I would never have a child, and now I have Tin. I feared a lot of things in my life, and sometimes I took a risk, and sometimes I took a calculated risk to get to what I think I needed, wanted, could not live without. All of that fear brought me here.
You might ask yourself right now as you are reading this – she got all that from watching Sex and the City Part 2? And you’d be right in thinking I think too much. I’m afraid it’s true.