On wanting a family
About ten years ago, a friend of Steve’s was dating a woman who wanted to have a baby. She got pregnant and they got married and she miscarried and they got divorced. She was cited as one of those, those types of women who irrationally want a child no matter what. You know the type. Some men think that women want only to have a baby and are singularly focused on making that happen. But I don’t believe that is true. I think most women who dream of being a mother and having children want to have a family.
Now that T and I have a child, I know what I didn’t know before and that is the inner workings about the insular nature of the family. Recently, someone was telling me her husband is jealous because he wants to see his grandson and feels his in law is hoarding. It’s a delicate dance here at the LaLa trying to find time to be with my son, with T & T, and offer time to T’s mother to do the same. I myself always wondered why my friends with kids wanted to see me alone and not bring their child. The other day we were going to meet friends and had offered to meet away from the house but I knew they were interested in Tin and so we decided to start here instead. A little Tin and then a lot of adult time.
Family’s are insular because they have to be. You work a certain amount of hours. You exercise a certain amount of hours. You have a certain amount of chores and errands. You have a certain amount of time to be with your partner. You have never enough time to be with your kid. Friends and family get the left over. There is hardly enough time for all you need to do much less what you want to do.
