As maternity leave comes to a close
Two more days of maternity leave and I feel ambivalent about leaving behind these days of just being Tin’s mom. I love my job but I have to say hanging out with the little man gives me immense pleasure and now turning him over to a nanny and eventually school is just blech. On all the people who said oh, be prepared for your life to change drastically – whatever. Here’s what’s not changed, while out on maternity leave I vetted the roof guys fixing the massive leak that happened while we were in Indianapolis, and then the alarm guy fixing what the roofers broke in the attic, and then the plumber fixing the outdoor shower that got hit by the freeze, and then the landscape guy who has to sadly remove the Hawaiian Orchid tree that did not make the freeze but which now gives space to the Crepe Myrtles who have been vying for sun and space. But damn, I loved that Orchid tree. And I’ve baked bread, made good food, cleaned house, walked my dog, and taken Tin to the doctor twice, and still managed to blog daily.
What has changed? I’m tied to him and given the opportunity to either go out or stay home with both T’s, I’d opt for home. So my pull is towards my family and so when people say, I want time for my family, I totally understand and that is what has changed that I notice.
I’m still doing too much, but I feel a sense of wholeness that I must admit came when Tin arrived. I wouldn’t have that feeling without T1 as my partner – because I never wanted just to be a mother, I always wanted to be a family. Isn’t that what most of us long for anyway?