On unanswered prayers
My gardener was over the other day and he was mesmerized at Tin and our “choice” in picking a black baby. I told him he’s a brown baby, if we are being color specific. He asked us why we chose a black baby.
We didn’t specify in our secular prayers a color, a gender, or even a type of baby – we set out on this long journey a decade ago when I put my foot down at 40 that I was having a baby come hell or high water, with or without my husband. Then ensued a long road to get here replete with miscarriages, then high water, and most certainly hell, then failed pregnancy attempts, failed adoptions, and WALA – Tin!
When I look at Tin and hold him in my arms, I know why all my prayers were unanswered. It was not in my cards to stay in Marin and have a family with Steve. It was not in my cards for T to get pregnant in Croatia. It was not in my cards for us to adopt K’s baby or W’s baby. Tin was in our cards. He was the prayer we had not spoken.
Thank god for unanswered prayers and for our little brown baby.
January 2nd, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Hubby’s and my kids turned out to be a sort of “tanned-year-round” color which I think is beautiful now as then. I took them and my blond niece around the age of the oldest (around 11 at the time) to shop for kid’s underwear once and the clerk thought she was my daughter. Asked me where I adopted the other two. I love it when I can jerk people’s chains! : )
January 2nd, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Believe me – I am paler than the moon – what I wouldn’t give for a little color!