Take a page from the book of life
A friend of mine in San Francisco was often fond of saying there are no answers in the back of the book we were given. And while that is mostly true the fact is there are answers to us individually. The moment we stop listening to what we should be doing, or how we should be reacting, and start listening to the inner dialogue inside of us, we find our way out of most dilemmas.
I find that when I’m in conflict about something, I tend to go out and ask my wide network of friends what to do about it. I consult the internet now as well – googling things like how to cope with a failing mother or how to stop berating myself for not doing all things I set out to do as well as how not to be perfect. But it’s when I stand back from the noise and listen to my gut that I get the best advice. If I feel like something I am doing is wrong, then no amount of siding with those friends who support my decision will make my gut feel better.
Yesterday, I was listening to two nasty messages that were left on my cellphone and I was able to stand back and see how clear the person thought they were right and how wrong they were for me. So what is the best way to handle – I tried first the Dangermond approach – avoidance. Then I sent a note to the parties that be and explained my position rationally.
Siblings that are tight are the exception not the norm is what my friend from Brazil said the other day. And you have to teach your blood relations how to treat you just as you do everyone else in the world.