Now I lay me down to sleep

A long day’s journey into the night. Finally an update from the doctor that mom is not getting better and not getting worse, but she sees no reason for us not to go on with our plans to leave the country on Thursday. I don’t know whether to say woo hoo or just break down and cry.

The adoption book has been expanded by three times the amount of pages and they are all lined up on the floor of my office. Will this get done by Thursday? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Work – House – Animals – Friends ___ all these other elements that are in abeyance till I resume control of my senses. Will this happen before we leave on Thursday? Dunno.

This much I can tell you – this ain’t living – the constant stress of medical drama, the tedium of putting together a book about yourself that will help sell you to a potential birthmother, the lack of yoga, the letting everyone else down because you can’t be there for anyone, the guilt that lives on the tip of your mind waiting to creep in if you don’t put up a good enough defense – all this combines to erode the daily quality of life.

So you have to look around and count your blessings – I did work calls from the truck outside Office Depot because I needed printer ink and I needed to make these calls.

In Portugal – I may find one place where a singer is singing Fados and I may never walk out again.

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