That old crushing feeling
Yesterday about 11:30 AM I got down on my hands and knees because I had this crushing feeling of anxiety in my chest. It was a collusion of trying to remain positive in a rapidly deteriorating environment. By noon, I had to get out and take a walk just to get some fresh air.
Later, as the day grew dark, I lay in bed and told T that I was overwhelmed by work right now and I sometimes felt I couldn’t breathe. She implored me to get out and take a walk with her and Loca and so off we went.
We crossed the pedestrian bridge with the sun almost setting, a group of regulars who meet on the bridge for wine and cheese were sitting in their camping chairs and chatting away. We got to the other end and turned around to see the red sky and pause for a moment of beauty. Along came this character as I will call him. This young boy with all the charm of a snake oil salesman, he held us in rapt attention being a grown up, a little boy, and an imp all at once. Then his mother drove up and said, I’ve been calling you. We told her he had been entertaining us and she said, “Yes, he’s a character all right.”
Then we kept walking and were directly across the bayou from the LaLa when a car pulled over and a man and a woman got out and went onto the grass and started hula hooping. We kept walking pass Moss and circled back to the house down Hagan, the street directly in back of us, and then cut through St. John Court, a tucked away culdesac dotted with cottages, and popped back out to the bayou. When I came in I spoke with J who said that hula hoopers had stopped in front of my house and she thought they were putting on a show for me. I said nah, they are random hula hoopers, but they have good hoops like mine.
A bubble bath, a wodka tonic, and my sweetheart helped to lift the elephant off my chest. Now today to try to get through the to do list in a more regimented, less daunting, effort.