Good grief!
I ran out for a minute to fedex Flower’s birthday gift and on the way home I clipped a car as I tried to turn left and turned into her because she was in my blindspot. Of course this happened in front of the Green Market and everyone and their mother. So a friend runs over to see if I am okay, but the woman is cursing me under her breath because the hit wasn’t so bad it was trying to disconnect and taking off her entire bumper that was the issue. So then she is blocking traffic because a cop pulls up and tells her to leave her car there and while the entire Green Market rubber necked the proceedings, the exchange of info ensued but wait there’s more – a young woman comes to move her car that is being blocked on one side by the woman I hit and so she has to back up, she asks me if I can back out her giant SUV for her because she can’t – I said you realize I just hit that car – I don’t care she said. Then it was one nutball after another – until finally I gave into the absurd.
Finally got home and there on the porch was UPS with my traveling hula hoop – recall I lost mine when British Airways lost it and all my beautiful clothes somewhere in Heathrow – so right at that moment, I was holding my new hula hoop plus five bottles to bring out to the recycle bucket, and my new neighbor (a nun) who is moving in asks me about recycling, Roy comes out on his porch and says it looks like the back of his car landed in my arms, and then the Mayor of the neighborhood (as we are want to call him) is standing on the bayou asking me where I’ve been.
I introduced the mayor to my new neighbor and he looks at me and I whisper “nun” and he looks at Roy and squints his eyes in disbelief and says, “You got a nun between the two of you! Proves God has a sense of humor.”
Moral of the story – pay attention to the road, more. Recycle. Be nice even when the person you just hit wants to bitch-slap you – it makes a bad situation okay. And always insert a nun between the party people for cushion (despite the fact that I am appalled at the pope right now with his birth control hard on, I am uber fascinated by nuns for some reason). And at the end of the day, you just got to say to yourself sometimes, whatyagonnado?