T minus 8 and taming the beast
When I was a little girl, adults used to tell me to calm down, don’t get so excited, speak slowly. It irked me. When I was nine years old, my teacher wrote on the blackboard, “Rachel, Rachel, where art thou, everywhere unfortunately” because I raised my hand for every question [nonetheless he adored me]. I am prone to excess. J calls me Zia. What I love about T is that she nudges me towards my center. This morning, after we talked, I was walking Loca in the park, it was late in the morning, because I hadn’t slept all night, and I was a little bit in a daze, and a lot of bit pensive about our conversation. I stumbled onto a different path and as I was walking, I was enchanted by the landscape – huge Louisiana oaks spreading their thick twisted branches to the ground – enormous canopies with moss draped fat across the limbs. It was a new way of seeing them. I looked around and wondered why they looked different and noticed that I was not following the path to the right near the lagoon, nor the path to the left by the road, but instead had taken the middle walkway – how appropriate, I smiled. I know I am excessive – but she tames me with a gentle touch – she doesn’t douse my flame, she adjusts it to burn just so. And that is why I want her back.