A State of Grace
Windy day and shaky bike ride in the morning to start the day. I ran into M walking around the bayou – his much needed exercise to assuage the problem ticker. L and I argued over the same argument and finally he said we exorcised it once and for all. Let’s hope so. I went on errands that took me here and there – paint samples for the LaLa to show S when he comes in for Jazz Fest. A new summer bag from Filly to patronize one of my favorite shopowners who had nothing but thank yous for me for recommending L at Venus to her. A transformer and cable to feed into my doorbell so it rings “Who Shot The LaLa” at the touch of a button. Gumbo from Chez Nous to take to mom’s for dinner. The wind had calmed down and the weather was ideal – Magazine Street was bustling and it was impossible to park Blue anywhere. All of the shop owners were smiling and warm. Spring’s owner said “I’m doing great” when I asked her. I said to mom I am doing pretty damn good considering when she asked. For the moment, we have a state of grace, and it is not a moment too soon.
S always asked why my fiction didn’t speak of us and I said no conflict, no interest. N told me that T was reading for a while but not much anymore – again, no conflict, no interest. Tennessee Williams, who is haunting my thoughts these days said: Once you fully apprehend the vacuity of a life without struggle, you are equipped with the basic means of salvation. Again I say, the meaning of life is not to be comfortable, the meaning of life is to live it. The hard part of my struggles are behind me, the future is flooded with possibilities, but stay tuned, there are always conflicts that will lead to interest.