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Yesterday, early evening I did not go on my bike ride so I could join my friend’s Zoom life coaching call. Veronica’s a warm and wonderful friend, and I’ve been the beneficiary of her coaching largesse on multiple occasions.

My take away from last night’s forum was “use everything” – Veronica’s mantra that all of it – the relationship crap, the coronavirus pandemic, the under-earning, the life struggle whatever it is is there for our learning, growth and upliftment.

True enough for me – every sucker punch has taught me how scrappy I truly am. Yet, this time, it’s different. I don’t hear this aloud but I hear it in the undertones of the jokes and memes that circulate on social media or get sent to my phone – we are okay.

We are surviving a pandemic! That’s pretty big.

What being scrappy means is I’ve learn that this too shall pass, but having gone through the biggest upheaval in my life – the 2005 Federal Flood – I just don’t want to go back to business as usual. I don’t have that REBUILD OR LEAVE motto waiting to spit off my tongue.

We survived, but now what?

Friends from near and far have been calling and getting in touch. I have a lot to say to a handful of people, some to say to a few people, and then my ability to process on the phone with distant friends drops to an “uh huh”, “yes, we’re okay” and “stay well.” Perfunctory courtesy and platitudes are all I have.

Meanwhile, there is a dim lightbulb trying to come alive as I walk and gaze absentmindedly at the blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico – actually it is a multitude of bulbs and they surround a marquis that says when this time out is over, I’m not going back.

I don’t want what was – the constant constant – I don’t want one bit of it. I don’t want a new chapter – I’ve done chapters – I’m ready for a new book.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020 at 4:09 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.