Big, Bold and Bruised
I love that video of Chimamanda Adichie on why We should all be feminists.
I love the part when she asks why she would be interested in a man who finds her intimidating. I saw a video that was being passed around today where a woman says that those women who say it will take a strong man to appreciate a strong woman are dead wrong. That being a strong woman is what will turn off a strong man. I found that argument wanting because what she is preaching is that “to get a man, you must change not only how you are, but who you are” – as if – is all I want to say to her.
See, I’ve been thinking lately that the best thing to do is to make yourself look bigger. I hear from a lot of people that are strong that people “think” they are strong but they really aren’t, they’re just as weak as anyone else and they do want support at times. Well, the truth is my friends, you actually are strong. You seem strong. You are big and bold. Yet BRUISED. Yes, that’s what happens, the bigger you make yourself the more things hit that are flying at you.
Despite the urge to shrink and make yourself smaller so that some Romeo might scoop you up in his arms, or those flying objects will miss you when they are headed your way, my advice is to take your punches and carry on. Go Big or Bust. Take my friend, Anne Flournoy, who started this little, bitty, video project that started getting bigger and bigger and soon it wasn’t itty bitty anymore – The Louise Log – and she could have stopped there, but no, she decided to take it one more step up and go BIG OR BUST.
Go Anne – put your biggest, boldest self out there and take your bruises like a woman.
See, I like the idea of taking cues from animals in the wild – how do you defend yourself against the jungle – MAKE YOURSELF BIG and BOLD. And be okay getting bruised because those marks just end up being reference points and material for later writing. When you are at the mountaintop and showing others the way, you might say proudly, this mark here, I got it when …
March 10th, 2015 at 2:55 pm
Whoa Rachel, I’m honored to be mentioned here. Thank you! It’s very thought provoking. And of course I want to listen to what Chimamanda Adichie has to say. After my nap.
March 10th, 2015 at 5:00 pm
Anne – Adichie will wake you up with her wonderful sense of humor and beautiful style. More importantly, I want to say BRAVO for going BIG OR BUST – I think doing so separates women from the girls and you, my dear, are a grown up WHOAMAN. I have the utmost respect for what you are doing to take your baby to the next level. And it really irks me when big people want to play it small because its safer and easier and expected.