I can’t fuck everybody
Out of nowhere on Saturday night, I was accosted by a person who confessed to a certain longing for me – and I couldn’t counter by telling where my longings are – meanwhile in the shadows of the dance floor, someone new watched and wondered, and yet another continues texting and calling, jockeying for position – all while another called and asked me to join him in Amsterdam.
December 4th, 2007 at 11:28 am
who says you can’t fuck everybody? if the opportunity presents itself, why not go for it. do what you think you shouldn’t. results might be surprising.
December 4th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Odd for you to say – but right now my heart is breaking – I’m in love with someone who is unavailable – and I was about to go down the wrong path yet again after all that hurt I went through recently – how could I possibly have played that out again in my life? Who am I? So with all due respect to love, I can’t corrupt my soul or hurt someone again knowingly.
All for love – maybe not. Not all for love. I did that and it was a long way to fall.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Well I wasn’t talking about love but I get your point. The heart is resilient,it won’t break it is just aching very bad. I think we should get ANW (actions not words) tatooed on our wrists -so it’s always in sight and we can not’forget’ the mantra when words seduce. Then the heart will ache no longer.
December 4th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Yeah you right – there is no such thing as a free ride or casual sex -or if there is, it ain’t much fun. I love the ANW – and may indeed get it tatooed right across my heart with some flames shooting off to the side. I’ve made progress today – I came clean and owned up to my shit to the person who would have been betrayed had my actions taken me any further than they did. That helped me stop and look around and say, well by damn, I did learn something from all the goddamn pain I went through – I learned that looking out across the horizon and seeing happy faces is worth all the hard steps I have taken today. No guts, no glory.
Still my heart aches very bad right now – I need a little TLC that I think only my dogs can provide – or time can render.