Permission to Begin Again
I went to open the ark after Kol Nidre and I felt as if – even though everything about being in the synagogue, being by the ark, listening to the Hebrew prayers, and waiting for the rabbi to speak was as familiar as rain – I have changed even while all these familiar details have remained unchanged.
We are blessed with this holiday, the Jewish New Year, the day of Atonement, an opportunity to fast and to remove yourself from the familiar so that you might begin again.
As I poured over past journals and writings of mine all the way back as far as 1998 on other Yom Kippurs – I realized that I have been doing the work before the work, the work of learning how to begin again, how to let go, how to leave out, how to fill in the empty canvas one more time. I’m a DIY expert on Beginning Again. For this I am grateful – happy new year.
One of my favorite poets reading one of my favorite poems of hers – Da Capo:
Da Capo
By Jane Hirshfield
Take the used-up heart like a pebble
and throw it far out.
Soon there is nothing left.
Soon the last ripple exhausts itself
in the weeds.
Returning home, slice carrots, onions, celery.
Glaze them in oil before adding
the lentils, water, and herbs.
Then the roasted chestnuts, a little pepper, the salt.
Finish with goat cheese and parsley. Eat.
You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted.
Begin again the story of your life.
From The Lives of the Heart