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I pulled out all the wigs, bought a few stocking caps from the second hand store (including one that looks like a chandelier) and got the boots out, and the sweaters hung all for the 85 degrees it has been here in New Orleans. Humid days with barely a Gulf South breeze blowing, and you’d think we would know what to do with ourselves but considering there was frost on the ground just short of a week ago and tomorrow it is going to be 47 degrees – we don’t.

The Hanukkah decorations came down, the Santa stockings came out (Santa does visit Jewish boys and girls), and now the Kwanzaa table with its red, green and black colors is taking form. But first we pause for the Homecoming Anniversary. Tomorrow will be four years since the first day I laid eyes on Tin. In four years, my life has stretched to dimensions heretofore unknown – yes, this is parenthood and it’s a daily miracle.

I was trying to introduce the concept of smores to Tin tonight so I pulled out the gluten free marshmallows and the chocolate and realized he had eaten all the graham crackers but I remembered there were two that were left in the truck so in this chilly night I ran out in my jammies and grabbed the uneaten two and then came in and built a small fire out of matchsticks to melt the marshmallow and the chocolate and he ran around me and was fascinated and when it was all done he said, “I’m not going to eat that!” So it all went in the trash. That’s motherhood.

I always knew I wanted to be a mother, could be a mother, would make a good mother, but I’m here to tell you mothering is not a test where anyone can gage how you are doing, especially you, it is a work in progress, and a constant mess and triumph delivered in a flash of a second, and ever malleable and fallible in its essence. Motherhood is freaky weird and fucking awesome. Who knew? No one can describe it, inform you about it, or even warn you well enough to steer clear of it.

Tomorrow we celebrate my son’s coming home. And I get to say: I’m Tin’s Mom – yay!

This entry was posted on Friday, December 6th, 2013 at 9:13 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.