Yakety Yak – Don’t Talk Back
I woke this morning at a little after five and was able to do all of the things that I wanted to do because I knew this day was about hitting the ground running. I meditated for 15 minutes and then went into the living room, which has become my solace to sit on the sofa and read a book with my one cup of decaf coffee. It’s a magical time that I cherish. I’m reading Twelve Years a Slave, which is a page turner. I wanted to read it before I saw Steve McQueen’s film, which hasn’t come to New Orleans yet.
Then it was swirl around and get Tin up and ready for school, make his lunch, coax him into breakfast and out the door. Drive all the way across town, drive all the way back across town, and then take Heidi out for a nice long walk. The moment I started walking my body relaxed and my mind went into overdrive. I’ve been walking with a book on tape or a podcast, but today I just needed silence.
Unfortunately, silence was nowhere to be found – inside my head lurked all sorts of mess. At one point, between thinking of what I needed to do, in jumped old slights, then an odd embarrassment, and when I thought it was safe, I found myself getting mad, then sad, then just standing there in the hot mess that is my mind and I finally said, “WHAT?” Rather I screamed, “WHAT?” – to myself that is. What is all this negative stuff?
I then took a deep breath and another step and said to myself, go – get out of my head – today I’m not dragging all you skeletons along with me.
Wow, it’s utterly amazing how the negative script can get stuck like ruts in your brain. You can go in and let each one surface and then burn it out by hashing and rehashing, or you can just do a general house cleaning. Whoosh. With all the meditation and motivation that I give myself, it’s bizarre how cluttered my mind still is and how it can surface when I least expect it – like on a nice walk on a beautiful day. Sheesh.
So it’s not about diving in and finding out what is causing that hurt, sadness, anger – it’s about sweeping all the dirt out of your head that accumulates over a period of time. Brain cleaning. And don’t dwell on any of it – none of it is serving you any purpose whatsoever but to keep you stuck. So close your eyes and sweep, or burn it down, or whatever imagery you need to employ to rid yourself of negative thinking that will keep you from being the flame of love that you truly are.
Because the day could come when all of us have let go of all the hurt, anger and sadness and have embraced the love and light and then we will be speaking each other’s language and the poetry of the universe.
