The sign says you gotta have a membership card to get inside
When you’re lost everything is a sign, and so read this and weep. I woke up this morning without the negative tape playing in my head that says YOU ARE UTTERLY ALONE AND HAVE MISSED THE BOAT AND WILL DIE THAT WAY and instead I heard the birds chirping. I meditated, had my coffee, and then wrote a post on my new blog and immediately had a response – read: there are people out there reading what I write (insert high five gratitude fist pump right here).
Next, and this one requires a drum roll, that’s right, I was paying bills and checked my account and suddenly was rich beyond rich (for me these days anyway). I am not kidding folks, what has been scraping by was suddenly converted into a deep breath balance because half of my homeowners insurance that was escrowed on the LaLa was returned (insert heart pounding joyous HELL YEAH right here).
Midmorning, I interviewed a guy who was the 100th person to like the Facebook page of the new blog that someone is reading and we talked about white parents of white children and I moved one step closer to the work that I have begun and I felt good. I felt good because we connected on this subject and there is room to keep moving forward (insert victory lap here).
And then I got a call from a friend and ex neighbor who said to me, “Rachel, you are the best at making lemonade of anyone I know. After all the reframing you have had to do with your life, I just want you to know that you continue to inspire me” (insert warm glow down to the toes here).
A friend wrote a hallelujah message – she put herself out there for the new business she has started and someone skipped across her radar opening a doorway to help move it forward (insert attagirl for a friend here).
I picked up Tin from school and was taken aback by the scowl he greeted me with, the same scowl he has received me with every afternoon for a week and me searching for answers as to what, why, how, and also just feeling very bad in general because I blamed myself for his disgust with me. I searched online the question: “Why does my four year old scowl at me when I pick him up from school?” and ran across sites that ranged from “I’m a stuck at home mom and depressed” to “Four year olds aren’t humans” — then I called Tatjana after having dropped him off to tell her and she had just gotten off of the computer searching for “how to get four year olds to wash their hands” – so we had a good laugh and I chalked it all up to parenting (insert mantra: parenting is neither good nor bad, it simply is here).
Tonight, I’m meeting a friend to talk about my business and about kicking up some dust and doing things differently. I was on the phone with a long-time source of mine today who said it so succinctly: to innovate and move quickly in this fast changing world you have to be free of chains (insert advice if you haven’t learned how to make lemonade, now is a good time to start here).