Housekeeping
One of the silver linings of throwing a party besides the party itself is getting things cleaned that otherwise wouldn’t be. Having removed the toaster, the coffeemaker and the rest of the daily items that line the marble countertops, it was time for their semi annual cleaning and bulletproofing. So piece by piece I started last night after Tin went to bed. And then as is evident for the change in me these days, I stopped and went to bed. In yesteryears I would have been up finishing the job. Now things happen in piecemeal.
I was speaking to E yesterday about how relationships happen in time and place and each one holds only that in its wrappings, trappings and memories. It’s very difficult to look at where you are now through the eyes of where you were before. Albeit more of me is revealed in each relationship and so little by little, half a century later you began to know who you were as well as who you are.
These are not just in the romantic relationships, these apply to friendships, family and your relationship to place and time as well. Often, during these months of coping with Hashimoto’s and baldness, I have referenced the old me – the flaming red hair, the energizer bunny, the all giving, all caring and trying to summon that person into this new time has been jarring. Accepting the change in me has helped me refocus on the here and now.
I caught up with an old colleague yesterday, someone who I have history with, someone who was shocked to see a photograph of me as I am now. She’s moving on from where she was, and both of us were in agreement that change is inevitable and there is a time to move on and grow into the new self that awaits us.
I spoke to a friend who had recently had a miscarriage. She had hoped against her age to have another child and the miscarriage brought disappointment and readjustment in her view of what lies ahead.
This morning, I woke at 5 am and went outside with my coffee to the front porch to gaze at Venus still strong in the night sky. For about a half hour, there was silence, and then a din arose behind the houses, from the I-10 that runs through New Orleans, and with it the sounds of day waking up to the last day of the work week. TGIF.