It’s all good
I spent the weekend working on the tattoo book, hanging out with my dogs, and avoiding society in general in favor of getting to know me again. Weekends like this, always coming off of a “running with the bulls” of sorts, are not easy to stay the course on because the temptations are many and the invitations are even more – but in the end, the spirit requires renewal and you can’t get that from hitting the bricks hard. It comes from probing inside all of those spots that the bricks obscure and sorting things out for yourself.
What are my fears? Well I say my fears are I want to do good in my job, good in my relationships, and good in life in general – the fears are that I am doing something that stands in the way of accomplishing any of these.
I have habits – I walk away from things that don’t serve me (sometimes before I have given them a chance), I have a myopic type of focus when it comes to my desires, I have mental energy that sometimes winds me tighter than a top, and I also have dumb energy that needs to be expended so I move until I drop.
What are my goals? I want to be the best media analyst in the world without getting bogged down in the minutia that keeps most Wall Street analysts from free association and therefore the a ha moments that I have had. I want to be a good friend, someone who is there for you and fun to be with, but I have trust issues that sometimes make it difficult for me. I want to build a financial security net unlike what my parents did – which was not do anything – so that I feel like I can enter my “golden” years without the apprehension that plagues my mother.
What are my desires? I want to date my equal and perhaps, fall in love again. I want to cultivate stillness, so that I can enjoy the LaLa, New Orleans, my dogs, and my life to the fullest.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:59 am
an “a ha” entry. Print this one out and tape it at eye level in some private place where you’ll see it all the time. I need to write my version of this.