Lady luck
2011 was supposed to be my year – it totals 4 which is my lucky number and yet, just two days ago I was discussing with a friend who is an architect about how I feel sometimes as if I broke a mirror seven years ago and this is the final year of dealing with the fall out. He said, Amen, as he lit his cigarette. He said, “I thought my situation was temporary but I’ve been away from home for three years now [he had to take a job out of town], I keep thinking it will be over soon. Sigh.”
So after a few days of more eating than usual and more cocktails than typical, I now have more weight to bear. I look at this all as not like oh the wrinkles on my face are from smiling all the time, but more like blech. I want to enter my 53rd birthday that begins tomorrow on the sunny side of the street, but right now I am dodging shadows. I spent the better part of yesterday listening to another’s issues and thinking to myself that my own life holds relatively less drama, but does it?
I read about this guy who was on Wall Street, who was fired and got 22 months severance and now is a barista and rather than sympathy all I could think is 22 months severance – the guy is young, did he help build that company, uh no. I was offered but declined four months severance – 4 is my lucky number. Right?
Then I read a post from a friend of mine who is an eternal optimist and it said he was blown away when he realized that OK turned sideways is a person. A friend sent me a note saying she came across this email that I sent her: “… so good seeing you today and I just feel this incredibly positive energy from you every time I am around you – I really think you are destined for greatness and so I am going to suggest that you don’t let anything into that picture that doesn’t let you live to your full potential…”
Ever wonder who you are at any given moment?
And that indeed made me realize yet again all of this, every bit of it, is perspective. Is 53 old? What if 53 totals 8 and half of that is 4, which is my lucky number? How lucky is that? So you have to keep flipping the coin – the lack of energy, the lack of hair, the nausea every morning – wake up calls. The dog diarrhea in the yard, the cat torn screen, the kid fingerprints on the wall – life.
Life spelled backwards is efil.
If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.
Maya Angelou