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Carly Fiorina’s grand statement that stuck with me is that we have to learn to save the best and discard the rest. I feel that I have tried to do that in the five decades I have been alive. Here are some of the things I have accomplished:

1) My father had gypsy blood even if his actual identity was a Sephardic so for years that I spent trying to rebel against my dad – root myself as deeply as possible into each scenario, I’ve learned to tread a little lighter, and thrive without feeling the need to act like an oak and weight myself down with accumulated whatnots and the feeling that I can never leave (ghastly).

2) My mother was a free spirit but she came from salt of the earth stock I wanted to be salt of the earth but it was constantly at war with my free spirit, so I’ve tried to nurture both, which often causes some internal and external confusion, but it’s moving in the right direction.

3) I was raised a Jew, and the philosophy of Jesus was as foreign to me as breathing underwater, but in moving back into my spirit life at this point in my years, I’ve found that Jesus had a philosophy that is starting to pair well with my own, peace and love baby all the way. I don’t like the trappings of what the institutionalization of his creed has become, or did he even have a creed I wonder aloud, but on a deeply spiritual level Jews, Jesus, and Muslims and Zen Buddhist and Hindus are all at the core striving for the same erudition and enlightenment. It is only in their manifestation that they have become perverted and political.

4) Because I was raised without a Christmas tree and with the lights from the menorah what illuminated our dark house in winter, I’m opposed to the tree because it symbolizes all that I am not. But today I looked at a friend’s blog and saw her first tree and it moved me. It moved me because I once had a first tree when I was in my 20s and I was so damn excited about it but I was not excited about cleaning up the mess afterwards. Now that Tin is seeing Christmas, he is getting excited about trees, lights, santa, and such. Yesterday, I was at a friend’s house and her husband was sneaking the presents into the shed that would later be wrapped and put under the tree for the kids to open on Christmas morning. I flinch at the excess of this tradition and where it has come to, and yet, I think about Tin on Christmas morning without a tree and without the presents. What to do? I’m still debating this and although my druthers would be to get up and visit friends’ trees and then to go out into the community and help others who are less fortunate, I’m not sure I have found the right groove here. To Tree or not to Tree? That is the still the question.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 at 7:14 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.