Visualizing what you want
My neighbor came by yesterday to visit – we were talking about stuff – she’s been single for five years after coming out of a very bad breakup. I said yikes, I’m 17 months into being single and everyone keeps saying I need to get back out there and I keep running for the bathtub instead. She said you have to visualize who you want and I said, I don’t see any visualization of what I want because I don’t want. She said, pishaw. Is there a conspiracy out there to merge me into couple-dom again? By George, I believe there is.
In the meantime, she did say something interesting – she asked me what is the quality I look for in a partner and I said – make me laugh. Sense of humor is key. She said that was tops on her list too. But her second, which I took with a great degree of weight was this one – I want someone I can be proud of – wow, yes, I told her, that wasn’t on my list but only by virtue of oversight. Being proud of your partner is a big deal. She was saying she was at this awards ceremony in her company and she was sitting with a guy she has worked with for 18 years and his wife had won an award and she turned to him and said, “you must be very proud of ___” and he said, oh yes, I am.
So you can say you want someone with junk in their trunk, or someone tall, or some of my girlfriends want someone rich, but really those are physical attributes – the ability to get someone’s humor and laugh, to be proud of who they are and their accomplishments, those seem to me to be very strong qualities to hang your hat on.