Looking for Mr. Right
I spent the better part of today on the sofa with my leg raised above my heart and believe me, it worked, the throbbing eased and my foot felt normal. I had a DVD of a fireplace playing on the television and was reading The Lay of the Land by Richard Ford – who is going to be here for the Tennessee Williams Festival. I fielded phone calls from friends and all of our conversations seemed to revolved around looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Seems like this is harder than you might imagine. One friend at her 50th managed to hook up with the same man who had deflowered her many many many years ago. How often does that happen? Another who has sworn off men called to say she was lining a few up that she was interested in and how great is that. Another called and said that he has been wistful lately about his ex-wife and wondered if he would ever have desire again.
I question the same thing – desire – it seemed to be such a natural thing barely two years ago – I had desire in spades – for too many men and purposes. Now I don’t even think about it unless it is summoned as a vestigial thought or in conversation. E is trying to convince me that the pendulum had swung so far to the left that it rammed all the way to the right and has gotten stuck there. I dunno. I don’t feel stuck. I just feel different. Like everything that used to motivate me no longer does. And that’s fine. But odd.