Forgiveness is a chore

A friend is about to embark on repairing her marriage where a long-term infidelity has been uncovered. Is it possible? Hard to say. You never forget, you never forgive, but I guess for some you learn to live with it. People wonder how is it possible to have an affair for so long and the only real answer is it’s complicated and you can go back and maybe connect the dots that got it all started but you can’t go back and undo it.

Is a kiss infidelity? Is sex infidelity? Or is loving another person infidelity? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? What are the odds for recidivism for those who have had an affair?

A friend of mine was approached in a work setting by her boss and she told him right away, “I am not a cheater.” She later told me she didn’t know why she said that, but it just came out. She said she doesn’t know if she would never cheat – but she knew she would never cheat with him.

I saw a cheater today and I felt like a duck had walked over my grave. People make a mess out of their lives and then they die.

2 Responses to “Forgiveness is a chore”

  1. susie bruce Says:

    what does that mean….a duck over your grave?

  2. Rachel Says:

    Generally it means that you got goosebumps so it would be more appropriate to say the Goose Walked Over My Grave but for some reason I have always heard a duck. It’s just in this moment like a bristle at someone I perceived as all good and now perceive as sinister. I stand in judgment – who me? – who the hell am I to judge another’s feet of clay?

    He tapped the main dial, which had crept from a hundred pounds per
    square inch to a hundred and two as Watson soliloquized. Jack felt a
    sudden shiver cross his back in a hurry and thought: The goose just
    walked over my grave. Then Watson gave the pressure wheel a spin and
    dumped the boiler off : There was a great hissing, and the needle
    dropped back to ninety-one. Watson twisted the valve shut and the
    hissing died reluctantly.

    Stephen King, The Shining

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