Domestic versus Feral
So since both of these personalities live and vy for attention inside of me and apparently, according to E, don’t have a bridge, I am trying to reconcile why they don’t live in harmony. But maybe they do, the more I think about it. Possibly the best example of this was living with Steve – he dealt easily with my flirty-ness and my needing to go hogwild (read: dance on the table) as well as my ability to manage our entire life from A to Z handily. So what is the issue now – the issue is that I play as hard as I work. Call it manic or bipolar or whatever fancy title you need to give it – I just have a nonstop button that says this is work, do it 200%, this is play do it 200%, and then I have a shut off button, which says sleep.
What I guess is missing is the button that says relax.
But my capital R responsible side – the domestic side – the side that cleans, cooks, balances the checkbook, manages life versus the capital W wild side that dances on tables, dances and dances, wants to scream at the top of my lungs, can’t get enough of people and music and life – you tell me – is all fair in love? is all game?
I don’t have an answer here – I just keep falling back on this is who I am, this is what I know – impulses are not always followed through – my own limitations come into play – my overarching energy is part and parcel of the extremes on both sides.
End of the day – is it broke? does it need to be fixed?