Where have you been?
Thursday, November 29th, 2018I had a ritual once, it was that I had to write in this blog. I had to write in a journal. I had to record. Capture. Then I had a child and I had to write about that experience on another blog. And then life got really interesting, so layered there was no way to sit down and write a paragraph or a line to describe it, so I crawled inside this cluttered mind of mine and started weeding out, purging, regurging, repurposing. I meditated. I walked. I moved. I shifted.
My rituals have not aligned. My go to’s are not even recognizable. My own self has unfurled.
I spoke today with a friend who has had a breakthrough in a memoir she has been writing for four years. She feels confident she has a book that is publishable. She thinks this is the next step. I say this without cynicism: I don’t want to know the next step because I’m fixated on the raising of the leg to make the step before it is a step before it is a next.
I don’t know how I came to this perspective which is not one – it is a swirling mass of creation once again as if I too have just realized the mist is clearing and now I’m busy creating where once I was waiting.
I’m not good at this blog anymore. I’m not good at writing, at journaling, documenting. I don’t know what I want to say.
The woman you see here lost all that she was, and she is becoming yet again.
