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I have been pestering the doctor’s office about my blood work that I asked for and yesterday, I heard back from the clinic that my thyroid levels are low and I should see my primary doctor for medication.

In the land of what the fuck – I ask you how this dermatologist has risen to his ranks.

But there it is – and so I will try to see if I can get that corrected and it certainly explains the lethargy amongst other symptoms – not the least is losing my hair (hello). Hypothyroidism was diagnosed by my friend and physician on the bayou just upon hearing the problem – funny how the dermatologist was unable to diagnose or even suggest a blood test. But I digress.

I have a new dermatologist who I will see on the 10th and hopefully see my own physician before then as it appears once on the meds, you feel better within a week. Yee ha!

I feel better anyway because I’m spring boarding my new path off the alopecia, which I hope to refer to as an “incident” in the near future. My hair stylist dutifully took care of me yesterday, bringing me to tears upon leaving his salon because his kindness and care were so evident, that I was moved.

Yesterday, a caller asked for money for Obama and we got into a long discussion at the end of which I said, you know thank you for being human. And he said it was a pleasure speaking to you. Humanity has so much to say for itself.

Tonight it’s music and dancing as we celebrate two friends’ birthdays with The New Leviathan Oriental Fox-Trot Orchestra – and The New Wig procured yesterday at Fifi Mahony’s (that I hear has a reality show coming out soon).

I woke this morning, hair all over, and my resolve was confirmed particularly after I got a message from my hair stylist who said he was up last night thinking about me and sending me positive thoughts. We spoke afterwards and he said that when you have good in your life and know someone else is struggling, it helps to send some of your abundance towards that person to help them on their path.

March 30, 2012
Taurus (4/20-5/20)
A response you’ve been waiting a long time for may arrive today, but it will come in an unusual format. And although this answer might not be exactly the one you were hoping for, it’s going to be extremely positive. If you feel that a celebration is in order, then go for it! Plan something around food. A dinner party or a group dinner at a fancy restaurant will be a great way to share your happiness with the people you care about.

Uncanny because I had opened a fortune cookie the other day that said “You will receive a surprising gift very soon.”

And so I have come to understand this alopecia – this tap on the shoulder – you must change your life. I started this year determined and found myself following familiar routes – work harder, over-schedule, say yes when you want to say no – but this time I was not getting the familiar taste of salt, instead I it was like acid on my tongue.

And so I was given this gift – this alopecia – this nudge back to my path because greater things await me. I was also given the gift of friendship and love and I am fraught with having to accept it – oh dear. My partner has alleviated me of school shuttling, my hair stylist wants me to come in for a shampoo/massage for free, a friend writes from Boston about Nantucket, a friend sends me a link to acupuncture, another texts me about a homeopathic cream, another emails to try another organic product – my gifts keep coming.

One amazing gift:

He was giving me a hug and had my hair in his hand that came out and he smiled and said, “Mommy’s losing her hair.”

And now going:

Going:

GONE:

How wonderful to be offered so many clues, how clueless to keep ignoring them, how fortunate to be pushed to confront my life head on and be given yet again, another chance.

I have been debating whether to get a wig or just go bald. And then I stumbled upon this blog with countless images of bald women and must say, bald seems to be what might win out.

After looking at 100 images of bald women my conclusion is other than Natalie Portman, black chicks are the ones who really carry this look, because it does get a little dicey on us pale faces.

But I’m leaning towards bald since the stress of watching my hair fall out every day could easily be assuaged by taking control and letting go of it all:

Bald Women – Some of the Causes
Stress is another common cause of bald women, but is fortunately not permanent. This type of hair loss can be due to physical or mental stress. Such events as losing a loved one, foreclosure on a home, destitution are common triggers that can cause someone to begin losing their hair.

After reading this I wondered how it is that I never lost my hair before?

Since my goal as of late was to lose weight and get on a regular exercise routine again, I was simply derailed by going bald. I mean really? When I called my stylist and asked him if I should just cut it all off he said, “Well, it wouldn’t be your best look.”

I sat here on the terrace trying to work on a schedule for the upcoming months and out of the blue I remembered having had a TCA peel (dare I even write that because surely it will bring even more people to my blog who could care less about one insane woman’s self actualization and only want to know more about the peel) and having my face look like I was badly sunburned and then having the skin peel off one centimeter at a time, I recalled that a young man (20 years my junior) actually took a fancy to me – sitting on my couch, having a discussion like my face wasn’t peeling off, he saw more than skin deep and that was beyond flattering.

What’s to say that losing my hair is just the final metamorphosis towards my inner beauty?

Today I was catching up with a dear friend and she was fussing about her kids, the entitlement they feel, and other mother rants. I laughed and said that is good to hear as I only remember her saying to her son, “I’m the luckiest mom in the world” something I now say to my son. She laughed.

I picked up Tin from school today and another mother had taken him to the park as I was supposed to be in yoga, which didn’t happen, and when I arrived I learned that Tin behaved poorly at school today and I would be receiving an email – I felt naturally guilty. I asked him what he did and he said he talked. Hmm, later he said he hit three kids. Earlier a friend had told me that one of her friends visited a psychic who said this month is tough, it’s going to be hard, for everyone. Good to know.

When we arrived home Tin claimed to be starving and then almost trashed the food I prepared for him, and then began wildly eating it, and at bedtime he cried as if someone was beating him, and then after pulling the curtain off the window not once, but twice, I flew off the handle a la my father. Interesting because I was reading someone else’s post about their father, and suddenly here I was channeling my father who passed 27 years ago, and it wasn’t his most flattering side, I do admit.

My earlier conversation had helped to remind me that we are not alone, there are people with far worse problems, there are parents just trying not to reincarnate their own parents’ worst behavior, there is also proof from a psychic that all of this is really out of our control.

I spoke with a friend who began shaving her hair a few years ago – she’s gorgeous and looks great without hair. She told me, “Rachel, it set me free.” She also said a friend of hers developed alopecia and now shaves her head because her hair never grew back except in patches. “She says she feels free.”

I called her husband and asked him if he would clip my hair. He said yes. I said I’ll get back to you.

Will My Hair Ever Grow Back?

There is every chance that your hair will regrow, but it may also fall out again. No one can predict when it might regrow or fall out. The course of the disease varies from person to person. Some people lose just a few patches of hair, then the hair regrows, and the condition never recurs. Other people continue to lose and regrow hair for many years. A few lose all the hair on their head; some lose all the hair on their head, face, and body. Even in those who lose all their hair, the possibility for full regrowth remains.

In some, the initial hair regrowth is white, with a gradual return of the original hair color. In most, the regrown hair is ultimately the same color and texture as the original hair.

What Can I Expect Next?

The course of alopecia areata is highly unpredictable, and the uncertainty of what will happen next is probably the most difficult and frustrating aspect of the disease. You may continue to lose hair, or your hair loss may stop. The hair you have lost may or may not grow back, and you may or may not continue to develop new bare patches.

My friend and artist, Kim Frohsin, says: “I always loved your nice hair… oh well, things could be worse + I admire your “adjustment” attitude + pluggin forth to try natural options:

A rose is a rose by any other name, but what about the thorns? What to do with those pesky pricks that thrive on blood, yours mainly? Well my motto is see ya later alligator.

I just finished Constance Adler’s My Bayou and closed the book with a sigh and a feeling of relief. Her story mirrors part of my story, and so therefore, I’m glad those chapters are over.

As for the thorns on the roses? Alas, we toughen our flesh and move forward towards our own existential bliss.

Someone was saying that New Orleans experienced the entry into this new world order with Katrina and the subsequent federal flood. They said that we are going through a consciousness raising era and that here was the entry point. They were able to trace a line all the way to the Occupy Movement. So actually before the Arab Spring, Corporate Spring, CEO Spring, there was the Gulf South Spring.

We are ready for what comes next.

As much as I love wigs, I’m now investigating the art of the comb over.

Who’d have thought my lovely mane would look now more like mange.

A friend I spoke with who experienced this in her younger years said that she sympathized as our hair is what makes us feminine – particularly if you were blessed with a great head of hair.