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Tin has recently started saying yes, because for over a year the only word that he truly loved to say was no. Which is very interesting because it is the one word that I have the most trouble saying. Except today:

1) The dentist thinks I should change my crown because it is yellowing – no, I said.

2) The yardwork estimate came in five times what I expected – no, I said.

3) The donation said $5, would you like to put in more – no, I said.

No. Today is a No day.

With Mel Gibson now John Galliano publicly denouncing Jews – who knew that we were still the most vile people on the planet? I Googled antisemitism’s origins and came upon this site that lays out the history.

Found these in Pinterest – love this site:

Remember I was just talking about life lessons learned, how not to judge something quickly or on face value because there could be more to the story. I saw this gown on this new site Pinterest, this gorgeous gown and thought how exquisite is that? Within a half hour, I learned that the designer is now being fired for being an anti-Semite. Suddenly the gown’s allure is poof, gone.

quod erat demonstrandum

or

što je i trebalo dokazati

You know all those adages like a child arrives with a loaf of bread under their arm – it answers the question “how the hell are we going to afford a child?” – and the one my father  oft said the darkest hour is just before dawn, and so did the Mamas and the Papas by the way, but my father said it in Ladino, which gave it that air of mystery and familiarity all at once. Remember that if you think you have seen it all, just wait for what is coming around the corner? A colleague just sent a note about a new site, it’s sort of like a bulletin board where you can post images of things you love. Instead of cluttering up your office. It’s pretty cool.

I am approaching this year as one where I am not looking for the usual bandaids to get me through the stress of every day life and worry. As a matter of fact by practicing nonattachment I’m trying to let go of worry all together as a pass time. Examples of progress: I had decided to tear out the grass in the backyard to plant a vegetable garden – estimate $1000. Vegetable garden cancelled – will put some veggies among my flower garden. The garden guy who has helped me in the past – the first time cost me $325 and now his estimate to help clean up the yard and cut back stock is $550. I passed. I’ll do it myself. A friend asked me where I got the bathing suit I wore last time we were together and I told her and while I was getting the link for her, I saw the same one in violet, my new favorite color, and I was tempted to buy it, and I thought, why? I have ten two pieces I don’t wear and four one pieces that I don’t wear enough, so really? I need a bathing suit?

Let’s travel down the road of perspective … building the LaLa always included a plunge pool in the backyard, a place to cool off from our murderous summers. BUT I ran out of money, so I put in grass and irrigation instead. Always the pool was coming. Then other things came, a baby for one. And incomes changed, headed south that is, and concerns grew, economy that is. And so that distant day when the pool was going to come was often supplanted by temporary situations until the pool got here. But do I have a pool? Do I really want a pool (not really, I don’t want to pay the maintenance), and so why again do I need all of these bathing suits? Much less a new one?

So while my usual approach is to hear music and think wow I need to go right now to iTunes and buy that, or hear of a book and go right to the bookstore and get it, or think of a piece of clothing and instantly need to fill out my already burgeoning wardrobe with it – I think this is all because I quit smoking in 1990 – I really do think I’m trying to get that one thing that will be my pacifier, at least for a moment, and still none of these things, not even the cigarette, can really numb the vibrations all around me.

And why would I want that anyway?