Dangermond.org

I dreamed we sold our dogs last night. But then changed our minds and tried to go get them back.

I looked up what this dream might mean and all the dream site said was:

Okay so I could have entitled this post TGIF – a title that I’m sure if you searched my blog would come up too many times to count. So let’s not say TGIF because really that is like saying I’m so glad this week is over and am I? Well, I am happy to be entering a slower pace than how this week started but wasn’t it exciting to be getting on a plane to New York? I’m glad to be entering a more relaxed zone of just having one thing to do not too many things, but truth is that I have my chores on the weekend no matter what – water the plants, laundry, etc.

Today I went downstairs because I had forgotten to pay the nanny and she had already left, but on my front porch stood a friend and her kids and Tin and they were playing up and down the stairs, it was 72 degrees outside, and the sun was shining on the bayou and I was wondering how the hell I had missed it – the day that is – this Friday that is ending the week of days that I have been racing through, breathlessly.

The fact is that a source of mine said to me that she picked her head up from her desk and saw it was January 28th and almost freaked out. Me too. But the past few weeks have been days that have been engaging, interesting, and joyful and so now I’m really sorry to see them go if I didn’t know better that the best is yet to come. So rather than enter the tunnel vision of formed behavior that would have me swinging from the rafters right now chanting TGIF, I’m going to say wow, what a week. I hope the rest of the year continues to provide so many opportunities to connect with friends, to learn more about my work, to hang out with Tin on the porch, and to look forward to a romantic dinner with my partner. Now that is something to be thankful for.

A friend admitted to me almost guiltily that he reads my blog and said, “It seems a little creepy at times as if I am being so voyeuristic” – and I said, that’s just what it is. Yes, you are getting a slice of my life and my interior but not all, honey, so don’t think you’re getting all. But the parts you are getting are the parts I’m confronting on a daily basis. The fact that blogs have become so ubiquitous five years after I started my own is sort of hard to comprehend, but having my faithful readers has been something that has helped me continue the practice because there are always times when I’ve thought – this is crazy – why am I blogging?

I wonder if all the mentally deranged people had a place to express themselves before acting on it, if that wouldn’t calm them down. Hard to say, I certainly don’t rant like I’d like to sometimes, and don’t cry like I’d like to other times. It’s just a grand experiment in trying to articulate in any given day how one woman (me) gets closer to becoming who she is and hopefully there are some take aways that apply to whoever is reading it as they work towards becoming more of who they are on any given day.

We went to see Meschiya Lake at the Ogden with her band and it was loads of family fun. Tin was very impressed with the band and the acoustics even though I felt like her voice was getting drowned out in the large space. But she liked Tin and she dedicated her last song to him. She said after the show that he (Tin) was keeping beat in twos and fours so well. Meanwhile, although there was no one there playing the bass, Tin played the bass, his instrument of choice for the evening and he danced a storm.

I had read recently that the Ogden was suffering financially and it’s a shame to hear it because this museum and this Thursday night program is really inimitable.

I’ve been going 90 miles an hour and am about to put on the brakes because I feel like I’m going to implode. Exit stage left. Here is my horoscope – how appropriate:

January 27, 2011

1. Taurus (4/20-5/20)

   If your pace is feeling out of whack with the rest of the world’s today, it is probably because you are going way too fast — the people who are in your life right now just cannot keep up! Put on the brakes today and see where you are in life. Take in the scenery and reconnect with a few folks. Where you are right now is exactly where you need to be, so why are you so focused on where you are going next? Live today and stop daydreaming about tomorrow.

   So I’m going to shut down and go get my family and head over to the Ogden to watch Meschiya Lake – at the airport I picked up a ukulele for Tin even though I said I wouldn’t be one of those business travelers who brings home gifts from the road. Whatyagonnado?

   

Deacon John said there are three things to bring happiness: 1) someone to love, 2) something to do, and 3) something to look forward to. In order of importance, I list what I am grateful for:

1) I came home last night to a clean and warm house courtesy of my gf who waited for me enthusiastically by the front door with open arms. There was also a little boy waiting for me who is my son – a true gift from the cosmos, bar none. I spent the better part of the last two days shouting out to the world that I was born to be a mom and I’m so glad Tin gave me this opportunity.

2) I have been blessed with a job I love – I’ve heard people say this all their lives, but you don’t know what that means till you are living the dream. I work with the smartest and funnest people around. Yay!

3) We are going back to Spain to see our friends from last summer and to continue to make family vacation memories – so looking forward to this I could spit. And I also planned a trip with a friend, we’re going on a cruise! Who would have thought either of us would go on a cruise, but we’re doing it because it was too cheap to pass up. Then of course there is the myriad events here at home that I look forward to: Mardi Gras, French Quarter Fest, Tennessee Williams Fest, Jazz Fest, Bayou Boogaloo, and even going to see Meschiya Lake at the Ogden tonight or trying to catch the Stooges Brass Band marching with Lady Jetsetters this Saturday. Wow do I have stuff to look forward to – my cup runneth over.

The first thing I did when I got home last night was to cook dinner for the family (and the friends who showed up). Chicken marinated in creme fraiche and Creole mustard, risotto with broccoli, and Arab bread. There is nothing like being on the road that makes me want to get in front of the stove and have a real meal. While you could eat out every night, or get take out, there is nothing more nourishing that cooking with your own hands, eyes, nose, and mouth. (Note to self, teach my niece to cook.)

The next thing I did was pick up all of the stuff that exploded from my suitcase as I had packed like a peasant preparing for winter. I came home with notes here, a new calendar there, and receipts and dirty clothes galore. No one can unpack for you, or clean up your stuff. Make a note of it, you have to clean up your own crap. (Note to self, teach this important rule to my child.)

Then I thought about my garden, the one I intend to plant this summer as I’m sick of having a patch of grass in back simply for the dogs to use the bathroom. We want vegetables and herbs and something useful. So I’m meeting with a woman who has designed community gardens throughout the city to figure out how best to do just that. It is all part of my austerity program and of getting closer to living off the land. Plus there is something wonderful to watch things grow from the earth – to move from garden to table and nourish your body with something you have produced yourself. (Note to self, a lesson to all.)

So today when I was sorting through some guidelines for a future project and I came across this quote:

“…thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”, Leviticus 19:18

In thinking about all these things that keep me centered, I was reminded that nourishing my interior self, also allows me to enjoy the external world in a greater way. After all, a garden gives bounty to the neighborhood as well as provides plentiful food to feed friends who drop by by.

Today, by the grace of the good luck I received in having my neighbors – we received a Mardi Gras starter kit left by the front door! Laissez les bon temps rouler. Happy Mardi Gras.

I believe it was Emerson who said the whole world exists in your backyard and there I had beens in the cultural apex of the world, New York city, and missed the one event I would have most enjoyed: documentary screening about Walker Percy. Doing a cursory catch up I saw this listed on a blog and thought damn, damn. When I was decades younger I wrote to Walker Percy, sort of a fan letter and also a budding writer letter, and can I just say that from the Moviegoer on, I’ve been such a huge fan of Percy’s writing, of him, and he is from my neck of the woods.

Last night, I got out of New York by the skin of my teeth and in time to visit with Tin and some friends who were in town to make music. The New York Times had run an article about Jack White producing a Wanda Jackson album, and a friend sent me the album as a gift from iTunes – it’s amazing when you tell yourself you are not going to buy music or books that suddenly the come out of the air as gifts. And thank you Jack White for taking Loretta Lynn and now Wanda Jackson and giving them an update – classic women rocking out. Can’t beat it with a stick.

We were playing our friends’ band music when they came in and they both said they were sort of sick of listening to themselves having flown into New Orleans and played a gig every night for a week. So we switched over to Henry Butler and some other New Orleans musicians.

The truth is that living in New Orleans, born to a Cuban, music just becomes second nature to your life. And friends, well, friends and music go together like red beans and rice. Very nize.

I walked about fifteen blocks to go meet a source for breakfast and the snow was coming down fast and furious – wow – I entered the restaurant covered with layers of snow and all I could think about was getting out of Dodge. Luckily, it was worth the walk as my source was able to answer a lot of questions that have been rumbling around my brain. I walked back in the driving snow and thought to myself, “How do people live like this, cold, snow?” I’d be holed up in some warm cave somewhere – not emerging till after the first sprig of green shot through the snow.

As I look at the tarmac covered in a blanket of white, all I do is click my heels and say there is no place like home and wait for arrival in my own personal oasis.