Dangermond.org

T is sitting on the terrace watching the sunset and doing her work and I’m in here with my stacks. They don’t seem to get smaller and as a matter of fact, they looked ominous this morning and barely threatening this afternoon. Perhaps because it is Friday, after all. I passed a woman getting in her car this morning, she looked to be of an age that you might expect her to be retired, but she was headed to work. I said TGIF and she almost roared: THANK GOD.

I read an article in MORE magazine that said the people who have lost their jobs are not the only ones suffering in this economy, it’s those that are stuck in their jobs in a market where opportunities are scarce. I’ve found more and more people over the last nine months who are disenchanted with their careers and some are taking big steps to forge new territory and some are scratching their heads and counting the minutes ticking by till it is 5Pm on Friday.

Well it’s 6:33 on Friday and the sun is setting in the backyard and it’s glowing red. Here is a family photo that our friend tried to take yesterday but like all of our family photo attempts, it was like herding cats (and these are sans cats, imagine if Bam and Blekica were part of it):

A friend who lives in Saudia Arabia met Tin for the first time and was so enchanted with him, she sent him his first computer. We tried to snap a photo for her to thank her but he was so serious about the new device that he could barely look up:

We are weeding through a bunch of clothes Tin has grown out of and so I tried own his Jimmi Hendrix tee shirt and it fit and so he wore that yesterday for the small birthday gathering. I wanted to take a pic with him, but again that was impossible:

Tatjana took one of Tin’s and Margarete’s drawings and wrote a note to a friend who is ill in Spain. Inanimate objects are more readily camera ready:

Loca was demonstrating the Art of Lounge with Tatjana and I tried to snap a photograph of them but Loca became spastic I caught her mid way before she rolled off the sofa:

Meanwhile, the sun is setting in back and the weather is delightful and Tin has yet to get up from his nap because he didn’t fall asleep until 4PM instead of 2PM. TGIF and I’ll end Friday’s blogging with four things to be grateful for today:

1) My immediate family is healthy and happy and home.

2) 99% of my loved ones are healthy and happy.

3) We still have a chance to make sure the Republican right and Tea Party do not gain more access into governing our country.

4) The sunset is beautiful.

In my last yoga class Aaron was saying that you are compelled to go to yoga for your own specific reasons – he said he first went to learn how to fly. I’d have to say most times I am blind to my intentions. For example, I didn’t begin yoga to accomplish anything much less did I have an imperative. I had taken one too many yoga classes in the Bay Area – none of which spoke to me – as a matter of fact, I flew out of those yoga classes.

Then because I injured my back while doing Pilates after leaving Uncle Joe’s Studio and Romney’s more formal classes, and was seeking a way to heal and stretch, I stumbled into Michele’s class at NOAC about the same time she was opening Swan River on Magazine and at a time when this entire city was seeking any form of healing that was available – whether that be physical, spiritual, emotional, or not yet determined.

I looked back over the last four decades and realized I have blindly undertaken my physical training. In my 20s, I began running because I had never been coordinated, athletic, or sporty and I wanted something that would help with excessive energy and my tendency to over-volupt (my word), in my 30s I sought all sorts of different ways to move my body from running to rowing and even trying sculling after clipping a photo from a magazine of an octogenarian woman sculling, in my 40s came extreme sports – marathon, triathlons, Body Pump and Pilates, and now in my 50s I see a pattern emerging – I want to quietly take my body to a new place and I’m pulling my mind along – when I am in Aaron’s acrobatic class on Sundays, I feel brave, I feel my mind and body are reconnecting – I leave there with a huge smile on my face.

Why am I going to yoga? I think it is because I have found my gurus – Guru 1 – Michele, and Guru 2 – Aaron. Something about their classes speak to something deep inside me.

The following is a list of restaurants that came up in conversation ranking the best places we’ve eaten this year in New Orleans. Mind you the first best place was everyone’s home as there were some damn good cooks in this crowd. But here is the list:

Restaurant August – hands down the best restaurant in New Orleans – no one cooks like John Besh.

Cochon

Del Porto and A Mano – got one couple’s vote although T & I have not had good experiences at A Mano

Italian Barrel – best seafood salad

Bayona – patio when it’s good

NOLA – when it’s good

Crabby Shack – shrimp remoulade or cochon de lait poboy

When we first adopted Tin, a good friend and client of mine sent him three Yankee onesies with a note that said, “Team selection is everything Tin” and last night, Tin dutifully watched the Yankees with John as they went on to win the game.

Saints and Yankees – that is all ye need to know.

Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”

Last night, a friend came by to bequeath his childhood Tonka truck to Tin. When we told him we were adopting a little boy, he instantly took an interest in Tin’s life. He was the first to make sure Tin had a Saints warm up suit (very handy for Superbowl 2010). And later, he thought about his perfectly kept forty plus year old Tonka Stump Jumper that his daddy had oiled so it would not rust, and he knew it had Tin’s name all over it. With kindness like this, Tin’s world grows richer and richer.

Tatjana turned 44 on Wednesday – a mere baby in my view – and a friend across the bayou is turning 55 today, but what’s age got to do with it? At 51 I have a deep feeling I have lived a life, but I also feel like the best is yet to come. I think about our friend who recently received bad news, incurable cancer, and now what? Would any little thing that I write about matter if tomorrow you told me that I was going to die soon? Well, what would matter is seeing the faces of those people you love. Remembering the times when you were celebrating.

Last night, we finally broke out the mega decadent chocolate cake that I made for T’s birthday and a few friends came by to sing her happy birthday. Tin thought it was his birthday and just watching his eyes light up let’s you know how special birthday celebrations are at any age.

Happy Birthday to you.

Remember you heard it here first, the motto for the New Year is Just Be It. I read this:

If today’s average American is confronted with an hour of leisure, he is likely to palpitate with panic. An hour with nothing to do! So he jumps into a dither and into a car, and starts driving off fiercely in pursuit of diversion . . . . I thank heaven I grew up in a small town, in a horse-and-buggy era, when we had, or made, time to sit and think, and often just to sit . . . . We need less leg action and more astute observation as we go. Slow down the muscles and stir up the mind.

Don Herold

Okay, tripping over the 50 yard line and losing my mother last year did put me in mind about how life goes by so fast, so fleeting. I was reading some old letters from my mother that she wrote when she and her siblings took a car trip up to the mountains – she was having so much fun – I could read those letters over and over again. One postcard reads:

Hi Rachel, I’m so happy I came. It is so and so beautiful here – we have a 4 bedroom cottage with 7 people all enjoying the company. Tomorrow we go on a scenic train ride – then leave on Thur morn.
Lots of love, Mom

She also kept a journal of that trip that I asked her to do. Here is another card she sent me that has a funny dog on a couch looking like he just got ran over by a truck and inside it says MISS YOU:

12-2-92
Dear Rachel,
Your letter came at a time when I needed it most. I have never been fired – though she insisted she wanted my resignation. I did learn a lesson – don’t dance with the administrator’s date. I was not aware until the next day. …
Things are working out better for me. I have a better position at LaPlace and she got her ass fired one week later! Had she left me alone there would not have been an investigation in which the board learned she was putting her hand in the till – big time.
Mama has been in the hospital since last Mon. She is to be discharged in 2 days. Wed. I hope. she, John and Sally ate something the day after Thanksgiving – all were ill but Mama more so.
Best regards to Steven. I miss you so much.
With lots of love,
Mom

There was a letter after a fight we had:

June 1, 1994
Dear Rachel,
I have so many things I need and want to tell you that, this letter will probably be fragmented.
That was as far as I could get on Wed, now it’s Sunday and writing this letter is still difficult but if I don’t get any farther this time, I must say this, this probably won’t console you but realizing that I have hurt you has hurt me a hundred times over.
I’m supremely proud of you all your accomplishments. For me to have a senseless conversation about whatever – I am so sorry.
Rachel, I cannot fathom a day of my life without a relationship with you. I want to share everything with you. I have made mistakes in the past 9 years in my quest for “me,” but never do I want to hurt you.
I am going to close for now. I hope to hear from you soon.
Love,
Mom

The reason I am sharing these letters is that for many years I’ve been chasing my dreams, running faster and faster, and working harder and harder, and yet, the one thing that I didn’t do is slow down, and hang out with my mom like I wanted to. Yes we had our Saturday lunch dates, but you know what we just didn’t sit around enough together. I want to sit around with my son and my partner and my friends and family. I don’t want to chase pies in the sky. Why it takes 51 years and one year too late to realize this is beyond me.

I noticed a whole mess of dead worms in front of my garden. And was freaked out. Then my neighbor’s daughter from two blocks away had walked by and seen Tin on the front porch and said there were dead worms up and down the bayou, not just in front of my house.

Why would there be so many dead earthworms? I looked online and the two answers were if you had fertilized recently (I haven’t) or if there was a worm infection. Yuck.

I’d give to you a day just like today. What a lovely lovely lovely day.

Tin is getting to the point where he is repeating everything and weird stuff comes out of him that you are not expecting – he points at a SUV and says “BIG BUS,” or he has this weird Italian accent when he says MAMA, it’s like maaaa ma, maaa ma almost like a Felini character, and then he is starting to string together words and that is when we hit the Kid Chinese.

Watch this video if you have time – my friend posted it on her blog, and it is hilarious. For any of you who loved the e-trade commercials as much as I did, this is well worth the four minutes of watching.