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I always read the headlines on the papers thrown in the morning while on my way to the park. My favorite headline – the morning after the Superbowl needless to say. I’m wondering why us lord, why does Louisiana need a setback like an oil spill that is creeping into our marshes, threatening our food supply, our wildlife, our industry, our everything? Today the headlines were about BP and their arrogance in this fucking awful tragedy.

Obama is coming to New Orleans today and from the headlines I’ve read he’s mad. Well, I’m spitting mad and sick of it. When I saw Congressman Charlie Melancon crying on the television last night I just wanted to lock up all the BP executives and declare Marshall Law. T turned to me and asked if I thought BP would go under because of this crisis and I said we can only hope. Yes, that would mean jobs here when we least need to lose jobs, but should a company be allowed to fuck up this big, conceal and obfuscate remedial actions, and lie lie lie – NO. Enron failed after they lied lied lied and we can only hope that BP follows.

As I approached the park, I saw an old newspaper folded across the top of the passenger seat in a beater car. It was the Super Bowl victory that said AMEN. We’ve been through a lot here in the last five years, down, up, down, up, down, up. The swings are so profound they almost give you whiplash.

But we’re getting tougher – the next headline will be better – we hope.

I meant to post this earlier but travel got in the way and then today we learned that Toby’s other dog, Bismarck, has cancer. This woman is wonder woman having saved so many German Shepherds all because of one dog, Fargo, who won her heart. If you even have $5 to give – you couldn’t spend your money on a more worthy cause.

SUBJECT: NOGSR (New Orleans German Shepherd Rescue) run by Toby Burroughs

Dear friends and neighbors,

On March 15, Fargo, Toby Burroughs’ beloved dog, passed after he lost his battle with degenerative myelopathy. (See his memorial video below.)

As most of you are aware, Fargo was the catalyst for Toby to begin the New Orleans German Shepherd Rescue mission. What an amazing legacy! Because of Fargo, Toby has gone on to save and place over 600 German Shepherds in the New Orleans and surrounding area. Quite a feat!

Toby and Fargo’s NOGSR has made a profound impact on all of our lives as we have all benefitted from a loving companion who came to us through them. As you already know, Toby not only brought these dogs into our lives, she continues to support us and the dogs through her advice, medical care, and her expertise about these wonderful and beautiful German Shepherds.

Watch the memorial video of Fargo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6W4HYnHDvg

In memory of Fargo, and the mission he inspired, we are asking you make a thoughtful contribution to a fund in his honor, the Fargo Fund. Our goal is to raise $5,000 to help Toby continue to rescue these amazing creatures and place them in the loving homes that they so deserve.

We have a date for Saturday, May 29th, on the New Orleans dog levee dog park (where Magazine and Leake or River Road meet), 10:00Am, for the Fargo memorial fund raising for Toby. It would be a good time to take a photo of us with our shepherds and do some other planning to help Toby continue to save shepherds in our area. Please spread the word and other thoughts you may have about this event/get together.

If you would like to help NOGSR and to celebrate Fargo’s legacy but you can not make it Saturday, you could also contribute directly through the NOGSR website – www.nogsr.org (please note on the website this donation is for the Fargo Fund to help us reach our goal). Or you could give the checks, made out to NOGSR, to those organizing this event, Tatiana Pavlovic, Maureen Shea, Ray Nichols or James Lancaster.

We have received contributions ranging from $25.00 to $ 1000.00.  Any amount is WELCOMED and APPRECIATED.  As Toby says on her website: “One person CAN make a difference!” (http://www.nogsr.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1&Itemid=10)

All contributions are TAX DEDUCTIBLE. Please see more detailed info on NOGSR website.

For any additional info please email Tatjana or Maureen:

Tatjana Pavlovic: tpavlov@tulane.edu

Maureen Shea: mshea@tulane.edu

Ahhhhhhhhh.

When I walked in the door T1 was very excited to see me but T2 acted like I hadn’t even left. He came around in a few moments and decided he needed a lot of hugs. But after being gone for what was close to and feels like two weeks, it’s good to sort of get my land legs back at home.

I picked up the vacuum cleaner that has been waiting for my return. I went to yoga to discover that my body is not a road warrior machine anymore. I ate home made food (T had made a delicious tofu and coconut rice dish) and my stomach started to normalize. I caught up on most emails, not all. I walked Loca and Heidi this morning and realized we are dead into the summer.

And most of all I reimmersed myself in the sights and sounds of New Orleans and home and I slept in my own bed. Ahhhhhh.

A neighbor walked by the other day with her daughter on her bike; I’ve watched them go from my neighbor walking by pregnant, to her walking by with her baby in the stroller, to her walking alongside her daughter, to now her daughter riding by her bike. Amazing, because I think this happened in the blink of an eye. Her daughter collided with T’s car and she was most upset because she dropped the fairy she was holding in her hand.

It was an air fairy – and I supposed it is too late for me to find one of those to carry around – but I liked the whole idea of it.

My neighbor’s young son had a craft tent at the Bayou Boogaloo and next to him was a vendor where no one seemed to be shopping at her booth for the three days of the event.

On the last day, he took the earnings he made from his sales and bought a necklace for his mom from that vendor to help her out.

Okay, now that deserves bragging rights. What a sweetie pie!

My neighbor is reporting dead birds, dead dolphins and more is yet to come from this oil spill mess. My other neighbor doesn’t want to talk about it, her two sons work for BP and one said that, “You know what it is like to get up every morning and work for the most hated company in the world?” Meanwhile reports say the top kill effort might be working.

What a mess!

I met on Monday the woman who introduced me to the attorney who led us to Tin. She has four children now, one adopted via the same attorney. We shared our stories and of course, sentimental fool that I am, I welped up right away. Where would my life be had my friend and colleague not taken a proactive stance to force me to talk to her friend who had successfully adopted? The long crazy road that led us to Tin was peppered with a lot of characters and too many attorneys along the way, but in the end, when you are looking at your son’s bright shiny eyes in the morning, you thank everyone of them for leading you to him.

What a wild and crazy life it is – to go back and connect the dots is rich and rewarding – to leap forward and take a risk you have to have a busload of faith.

I dreamed last night that a friend was lurking in my shed and when I went in there to see why Loca had been locked in the shed, I found a newborn baby covered in amniotic fluid. A baby girl. She had blonde hair and she was so tiny, she almost reminded me of my little Miracle baby niece when she was born. I quickly got a towel and wrapped her in it and called the doctor to tell them I was on the way with a baby who needed instant attention. Meanwhile, Loca was scrambling to get out of the shed and Tin was napping on a pallet. I turned around and my entire family was in the shed with my youngest brother leading them in revelry and I kept saying shush, don’t wake Tin, I have this baby I have to take care of, and then “Loca porch”, “Loca porch”, I was shouting.

I woke almost in a daze, delirious, and concerned that I now had the baby girl, Tin, Loca and more to take care of, but then as I was having my tea I thought fondly of the little girl I was holding, her blue eyes staring up at me, her blonde hair covered in sticky fluid, and a semi smile on her lips. When I called T to tell her about the dream, she said emphatically, “We are fine with our baby boy.” Touche. I concur. We’ve been parents for six months and the thought of taking on another child is daunting. And Tin is everything we could have hoped for, so we are not looking to make things more complicated.

So I decided that that dream last night was about me – I was the baby girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes – just being born and being cradled in my own arms. I did wake after taking some time for myself yesterday feeling re-energized. I am seeing a lot of positive things in my work sphere that are calling me to action.

Welcome to the world new level, new baby, I’m ready for you.

I’m staying at The Alex on 45th Street and in the elevator is a green light that says when it is lit, help is on the way. I just want a green light in my office or bedroom at home that says the same thing. I could just flip a switch and the green light would act like a placebo fooling me into believing that help is on the way.