They say that television adds ten pounds to you but what we’ve found is it also takes color away. Tin looks like he has white skin on the small video monitor. It was very disconcerting when I first started watching him, I wanted to see my little caramel skin boy not a pale white face looking at the camera.
I keep a journal that I update usually around Yom Kippur and sometimes at other milestones. One thing that I’ve wished for a long time is to be a mother. Presto change-o Tin has appeared in our life after finally giving up that this wish would ever be fulfilled. I have this to say about that – it has exceeded my expectations by volumes. Even now with Tin cutting a tooth, not napping, and his new found will rearing its head more often – he is awesome. And motherhood is an incomparable experience.
I’ve always kept the gypsy blood I inherited from my dad at bay by having a job where I travel often. Tin has taken the thunder out of hitting the road. Last night I was filled with anxiety dreams about security and my family being safe. It’s easier to separate from your partner who you could call and say hi, I’ll be home in a few than it is from a child who has no concept of time when you are uber aware of time and how a few nights away could be milestones in his development.
And there is the balancing act – your career, your partner, your child, your life – I wonder how young women with young kids manage all of this while they are still seeking self-actualization themselves? Tough.
Getting ready again to head to the east coast where everyone there is recovering from the storms that pummeled them this weekend. Welcome to the new weather. Meanwhile it’s another beautiful day in the neighborhood here while I pack and scurry to get work done before I go. The lists are starting to arrive about what is happening where:
1) Super Sunday this Sunday on the bayou
2) Wednesday free concerts in the square downtown start next Wednesday and go through June.
3) Thursday mint juleps and concerts in the botanical gardens of City Park already started last Thursday.
4) African band on the second Sunday of every month in the French Market started
5) Tennessee Williams Fest starts next week
6) French Quarter Fest is in three weeks
7) Jazz Fest in a little over a month
New York and Boston got hit by hurricane type winds and rains and here in New Orleans it was amazingly beautiful. The truth is that come June 1st when the official start to hurricane season begins, we will start our own weather panic down here. We know floods, we know electricity being out, we know everything stopping to accommodate a shit show. Been there, done that.
It is so unbelievably gorgeous here in New Orleans today – just perfect weather and a perfect day. I woke to find out that my flight to the east coast had been cancelled because of all the weather they’re having and then I went into scramble mode to find another flight out – which isn’t until tomorrow – so I got to enjoy this beautiful day at home with my family.
We started with a bottle on the porch and then Loca and Tin and I walked to City Park which was packed with everyone and their mother enjoying themselves. We played at the playground and visited the ducks and then came back for a bottle on the porch again – yee ha. Tin is cutting a tooth so he’s cranky but was able to still groove out on the porch and with the weather.
He napped this morning but decided that was all he was giving and so when we got a call that an African band was playing in the French Market, we took our cue and had T drop us there for an hour of hanging out. James Singleton was playing with the band and they are there the second Sunday of every month. While we were in front of the stage, an older African American woman came up and asked me if she could hold him and then she took him up to the stage and danced with him. He was a big hit because when I put him down he got his groove on like he is want to do when he hears music – a guy sitting with his family said he looks like an old man with his bowed legs and receding hair line. Ha!
And now to head outside and catch the dying light on the water. Oh blessed day! Home on the bayou.
A few years ago a model died when she walked off the runway because she was famished. I’ve said more times than I care to remember that gay men have purported this pencil thin look on women because it de-womanizes them and makes them look like adolescent boys. I’ve applauded the industry for laying down some laws about eating and size for these runway models. That Prada has Miranda Kerr as a model and Elle is still strutting at 46 years of age lets me believe that somewhere sense is finally prevailing.
As for Karl Lagerfeld who said that “no one wants to see round” – neanderthal – please women boycott this man’s clothes until he finally gets the prepubescent boy he really wants and is satisfied to leave women to their beautiful curves.
Last night, we had four friends come over, one made lasagna with each ingredient a feast in and of itself (it laid truth to the claim that a dish is a measure of the ingredients you put into it, with the pasta handmade, the bechamel perfect, the meat slow cooked to perfect – this was no ordinary lasagna), then another made sauteed greens out of kale, chard, greens, arugula, broccoli, broccolini – and I was in charge of dessert – bananas foster. Mumm’s champagne – Italian Montepulciano – none of which this Lent girl had although I did eat some of the dessert – and smart people to converse with – all make for a wonderful way to spend the evening. What more could you ask for?
During the no nap time yesterday where I was supposed to be getting a lot of my work prep done, I ended up reading a lot more of Penelope Leach’s book on one year to two and a half. It explained the little toddler who clings and then when you want to pick him up, pushes you away. Or the reason why suddenly the changing table is the evil empire or removing a death weapon from his hand causes an eruption the degree of Vesuvius.
I take my holding close moments where I can – right when he wakes up, he takes it slow and right then are the hug opportunities and I take my fair share. The letting go is a little harder – he swung open the front door this morning and was marching right out to the porch – GADZOOKS!
Here he is feeding himself in a bowl his aunties gave him that sticks to his tray and his orange giraffe spoon which he wouldn’t even touch and now he feeds himself so well with.
There is so much advice that you hear with a child, with an adopted child, with everything you are about to do – everyone knows better. Some told us that it is important to not let a bunch of people hold your child so he only attaches to you, another said it’s better to have as many adults who love him around because it’s better for him to know a wider safety net. One of the things our nanny said when we were interviewing her is that a child needs to learn from people other than his parents so that his world is larger than theirs.
Tin doesn’t have to worry about a larger group of people loving him. A friend called yesterday and said that all of his children are telling their friends that he’s their godbrother. Didn’t know that relationship existed. And last night we had friends over for dinner, all role model worthy for our little boy.
I was emailing with an old friend in Washington state who has three children now – hard to believe as when I met her many years ago she was almost a kid still. Anyway three of them, including her husband, are pisces and she said, well I guess you better be prepared for the Pisces mood. She said her son still looks like a cartoon character when he gets upset only it’s no longer funny – ahem, ha ha.
I read all these passages about how babies don’t like water in their eyes, or are afraid of water, or don’t like baths – NOT MY CHILD – he is a water baby extraordinaire.
