Archive for July, 2009

Everywhere you go, there you are

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

As we did our yoga class to Michael Jackson, we were supposed to be keeping our path in full surround sound view. What I could think about is my mother and how in stubbornly clinging to an image of how I want things to be, I’m missing out on what is. A lot of times when I am fed up with her, I console myself for not going over there by saying that she never went to see her mother who was only an hour away, so why should I go see her when she is twenty minutes away.

But today, in my advertising frame on mind that I was in, looking down at my yoga mat and visualizing my path, I thought I’m not my mother.

So tomorrow, I’ll take Loca, the clown, and go visit and I will just breathe my way through any judgments that arise and try to enjoy my visit and hopefully, she will enjoy it as well.

Gypsy in my blood

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

In the coming months we have a lot of travel ahead of us. There is Portugal and then Nantucket for me and Boston for T and then California and somewhere peppered in between might be a visit to meet a birthmother and then business travel. From this vantage point it is all in the future and we sit quietly in our house and crawl in our bed at night and know we will wake to our tea and dogs and cat in the morning – but before you know it, we will be in motion with planes, trains and automobiles and at some point we will be waking up in a bed that we don’t know and drinking coffee or tea where we find it and wondering when it is that this will stop and we will be home, in our routine, back in our skin.

And then it will be November and the pelicans will return to the bayou.

Loving from a distance

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

I spoke with mom today and she said she had been in bed all day because she did not feel well and she didn’t know why. I said well I guess we do know why. But it’s up to you to decide if you want to do something radical like go into detox and get on a road to feeling better or if you are okay with where you are now.

By the way, I said, we’re having a friend over and her mother and were hoping you could join us on Saturday.

New beginnings

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

This morning we woke to a still and glassy bayou and a plastic water bottle filled with exotic yellow flowers. Each branch held a cluster of closed buds with a gauzy skin that covered them and when they opened each yellow flower unfurled in a curly small happy face.

Yellow flowers indicate many things – modesty, new beginnings – and yet they also mean here, mystery.

Who left the yellow flowers on the porch, with their delicate skins that burst open into a happy little yellow flowers?

The answer is it doesn’t matter – what matters is you live in a place where you can wake up and find a make shift vase of exotic yellow flowers on your porch.

New Orleans gains more citizens, still misses those in the diaspora

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

A new study out says that New Orleans gained some new citizens in the past year, but we are still woefully smaller than we were nearly four years ago when Katrina blew holes in the Corp of Engineer’s faulty levee structure. Where are we today? It’s anyone’s guess – I have heard reports that our levee system is back where it was before the storm – is that good? Obviously not. But to get us to where we need to be is still too many years and money away.