I just read that the flight attendants of British Airway are going to have a strike for 22 days. I’m wondering if they now have time to find my luggage that contains all of my favorite clothes that they lost in the summer of 2008?
I never thought I would become a nazi mommy. My friend’s kid is sick and so is she, and she’s wearing a surgical mask around the house so she doesn’t reinfect her. I used to laugh at this type of mom behavior, and now after going out to eat sushi and seeing how Tin got overtired being out of his routine and how being out affected his stomach (as he spit up his formula when we got home) and was so fussy going to bed – I wonder is it better to get out of the routine or to just be a shut in?
Hard to say – but let me tell you this – we’re exhausted – maybe we need the routine – between T not getting her routine nap and me not sleeping through the night because I get up and contemplate T2’s breathing – how in the hell could we have adopted a newborn!
Yet, tonight he got to light the menorah again – live – and he really is so amazingly well behaved given that the restaurant was not his idea.
And earlier today we had to get out of the hotel room in the afternoon so the housekeeper could clean – we’ve been just exchanging towels and trash because they never seem to come at an appropriate time and so since we had to get out, we went to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum for that 1.5 hour block of time between feed and nap.
Wow – it’s a pretty incredible museum. The architecture was nothing to comment on, but the exhibits were awesome. There is this entire exhibit on Egypt where a kid enters the world of an Egyptian kid – really cool stuff. And then there is a dinosaur and dragon exhibit that is complete with a paleontology lab.
My favorite parts were the drumming session where all the kids were on the floor learning to drum and Tin stood over his little bongo, slapped it and bust a move with his little diapered booty.
He loves seeing other kids and loved the stimulation of the exhibits – I have to admit I never had any desire to step in a children’s museum before – but afterwards we both had great ambition to make sure Tin sees as much of everything in the world that we could possibly show him (and he us).
I’ve waited a lifetime to have someone call me mommy, to watch my child eat in his high chair, and to caress the little body at bath time and dressing time. Little Tin is more than a mother could ask for. What’s his story? His story is this – the stork delivered him to the wrong house and so he spent nine months on a bumpy road till two fairy godmothers (yes, that would be a same sex couple) plucked him out and delivered him to the right house, the one with two mommies.
You cannot explain to a person the desire to have a child, to nurture and to nudge them on into a life of their own. And life being what it is, sometimes overburdens some people with gifts they cannot handle, and others spend a lifetime wanting the gift of a child. It’s a crazy mixed up world but in the end, we got the baby that was meant for us – and that would be this little boy chowing down on his bananas and egg.
I spoke with my brother earlier today and told him mom sent us a blessing, he said, “A blessing, a white same sex couple bringing up a black boy, sounds like a challenge.”
I told him, “You’re jealous because we lead a more interesting life than you.”
Today when we were walking around the mall, everyone wanted to get a look at Tin – he’s gorgeous, not just because he’s cute but because he has personality galore.
My other brother wrote how did you come up with the name Tin (this was after he was harping that I had to get him re-circumcised by a mohel) – I said it is short for Constantin and that circumcision is genital mutilation – he cringed in his next response and begged me to see the light, for god’s sakes.
My other brother sent me an email and said, “Do I have to be in prison to find out you have a son?” He’s the funny one.
My emails are not sending from the Indiana outpost – I sent to my family and my very close friends an email before I posted to my blog the adventures of Tin, but no one got the email and one friend said she had to read it on my blog, and my family remained clueless until one of them I happen to get through to knew and lorded it over the other ones, one by one.
I had a cup of tea earlier today and the label said “Beauty is in everything you do.” Today, after working in the hotel lobby with Ellen and all the other morning and daytime talk shows playing full blast on two flat screen TVs, I came back to feed Tin his bottle in the bathroom with the hot water running. Then late in the afternoon I ran to Babies R Us and bought a Peg Perego Stroller – on sale and got an additional 20% off because a seam was torn.
THEN THE WHOLE FAMILY WENT TO THE MALL.
It was a beautiful thing. We had Tin in the stroller, we walked, we looked, we bought Tin another article of clothing, we then went to the hotel lobby lounge next door and had a gin and tonic and then we came home and fed him again in the bathroom with the hot shower running.
All in all we all needed to get out. There is no sidewalk to walk outside. There is no park near by. The mall was the antidote to cabin fever and I do mean fever and so it was a beautiful thing.
At one point T looked in the vacuous eyes of the holiday shoppers and said that Americans are unhappy – I said you’re projecting – these people are very happy, it is only in Eastern Europe where you see so many unhappy people.
But Beauty and Happiness are relative right?
Back to the digital age and having an infant. Last night, just when we thought Tin was getting over his cold, he woke in the middle of the night with a barky cough. This went on intermittently and of course, I got no sleep worrying about him. Then I got up early and looked up barky cough online and it said croup. Apparently this strikes children under three and all of the identifiers fit him although he does appear to have a mild case.
Some instinctual things were right on – I had already gotten a humidifier, needing one myself due to this dry heat and dry air. But I cranked it up early in the morning. Then we ran a hot shower and I fed him his bottle in the bathroom in the moist air. We changed his feeding to be bottle, then cereal, then his banana and whatnot and that at least got the fluids down that we want to keep him hydrated.
The reality is that being cooped up is not good for croup. Dry heat and stuff air is what keeps the virus alive. So now I’m going to get a stroller so we can take this big boy out for a spin in the fresh air now that the temperature has risen to 40 degrees.
We want to go home – we miss the bayou, our dogs, our house with its heating system! But the internet has been my mother’s helper, along with Flower and every other person I’ve told.
I dreamed last night that we were on a plane, then in a car, then on a boat, headed for a house on the beach. When we finally got there, we went out to the deck and walked towards the water. My two uncles walked up with pinched foreheads and I walked quickly over to find out what was wrong and my mother was behind them. They said she was concerned because she had a picture of me hanging upside down off the deck (read: enjoying myself) and my sister was giving her flack because my father had just died. I went to her and said, mom it’s okay to enjoy life, I give you full permission to do so. And her worried face suddenly relaxed. It was an interesting dream because in reality when my father died, it was me who was hell bent on mourning him properly during shiva and taking care of my mother, while my sister was out in the Quarter getting my father’s windshield smashed in because she left it parked somewhere it shouldn’t have been.
But the message was loud and clear – life is for the living – and though there are times to grieve, life should be a celebration as often as possible.
Tin, no fire, don’t touch the fire, Tin, no fire, don’t touch, Tin, are you listening?
We’ve been dealing with the cold here in the midwest as well as the colds – first Tin’s then mine and hoping it stops there – I slept most of the day on the sofa in a deep, coma sleep that only the sick enjoy. Meanwhile, a sister from another country, Shanghai sent me this note:
According to Chinese saying, we even would like to say that your mom’s sprit goes to Tin’s body and it is your mom’s reincarnation.
Contemplating my mom’s free spirit in this cute little boy might be too overwhelming for a couch potato – he’s already got enough personality to rock the house.
I don’t know what could be bigger news than Tin joining our family, but this is pretty big news:
December 13, 2009
Houston Is Largest City to Elect Openly Gay Mayor
HOUSTON — Houston became the largest city in the United States to elect an openly gay mayor on Saturday night, as voters gave a solid victory to the city controller, Annise Parker.
Cheers and dancing erupted at Ms. Parker’s campaign party as her opponent, Gene Locke, a former city attorney, conceded defeat just after 10 p.m. when it became clear he could not overcome her lead.
Twenty minutes later, Ms. Parker appeared before ecstatic supporters at the city’s convention center and then joked that she was the first graduate of Rice University to be elected mayor. (She is, by the way.) Then she grew serious.
“Tonight the voters of Houston have opened the door to history,” she said, standing by her partner of 19 years, Kathy Hubbard, and their three adopted children. “I acknowledge that. I embrace that. I know what this win means to many of us who never thought we could achieve high office.”
With all precincts reporting, Ms. Parker, the city controller, had defeated Mr. Locke 53 percent to 47 percent.
Throughout the campaign, Ms. Parker tried to avoid making an issue of her sexual orientation and emphasized her experience in overseeing the city’s finances. But she began her career as an advocate for gay rights in the 1980s, and it was lost on no one in Houston, a city of 2.2 million people, that her election marked a milestone for gay men and lesbians around the country.
Several smaller cities in other regions have chosen openly gay mayors, among them Providence, R.I., Portland, Ore., and Cambridge, Mass. But Ms. Parker’s success came in a conservative state where voters have outlawed gay marriage and a city where a referendum on granting benefits to same-sex partners of city employees was soundly defeated.
Turnout was light across the city on a rainy, foggy day, with only about 16 percent of registered voters going to the polls.
Ms. Parker’s sexual orientation did not become an issue in the race until after the general election produced no winner and led to a run-off between her and Mr. Locke, who is black and enjoys strong support among African-American voters.
The two candidates differed very little on the issues. Mr. Locke, who is 61, promised to crack down on crime and expand the police department. Ms. Parker, 53, said her experience as controller made her a better candidate to steer the city through the tough financial times it now faces.
The candidates also started slinging stones at one another in final weeks as it became clear neither had a huge advantage in the few polls conducted here. Mr. Locke bashed Ms. Parker as “soft on crime” and suggested she favors tax increases. She portrayed him as nothing more than a lobbyist for developers.
But the ugliest attacks came from a group of black pastors who spoke out against Ms. Parker for what they called her gay agenda and two separate anti-gay advocates who sent out fliers in the mail calling attention to her support from gay groups and to her relationship with her partner. Mr. Locke denied having anything to do with the attacks, but two members of his finance committee gave $40,000 to help finance one of the mailings.
Some national gay-rights groups, meanwhile, came to the aid of Ms. Parker’s campaign with money and volunteers to man telephone banks in a get-out-the-vote effort and to urge her likely supporters to vote.
Political strategists said that to win, Mr. Locke needed to carry a large majority of the black vote, which is usually around a third of the turnout, and to attract significant support from conservative whites, many of them Republicans, who are also about a third of the voting mix here.
The crowd at Ms. Parker’s speech included dozens of young gay men and lesbians who had volunteered on her campaign. Many were elated with the sense of history being made.
“It’s a huge step forward for Houston,” said one of the volunteers, Lindsey Dionne, who is lesbian. “It shows hate will not prevail in this city.”
Robert Shipman, who is gay and worked long hours for Ms. Parker, said: “The diversity in this room, it’s not just gay people, it’s gay, straight, black, white, Jew, Christian, Muslim, every kind of person. It took all of us to get to this point.”
For his part, Mr. Locke was gracious in defeat, calling for unity after what had sometimes been a heated campaign. “We have to all work together to bring our city closer and closer together,” he said.
Ms. Parker appeared to have cobbled together a winning coalition of white liberals and gay people, who were expected to turn out in large numbers.
Rachel Marcus contributed reporting from Houston.
Copyright 2009 The New York Times Company
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