In these whirling days of busy-ness, it’s like stealing time to take my walks with Loca, to write in my blog, to even stop for a moment and reflect on how happy I am. This morning, I crossed the foot bridge and I saw no pelicans – alas, March is almost over and they are headed north. I passed Cabrini girls gabbing away in their plaid uniforms.
Today, it’s been a week of annoyances with things – plumbers for T, a new battery for my cellphone, a new camera to replace my FAVORITE camera that I dropped and broke on Sunday, escrow re-evaluations that caused me to pull over in my truck and cry, and mom having her 1900000th nervous breakdown and as I sat in traffic waiting for the light to change after leaving the Verizon store, I saw an official street sign on the telephone pole on the corner, which read:
NO
Glass containers
Open flame cooking
Animals
Silly String
Ladders in the street
Tents
Roping off areas
My mind was lost in thought about a myriad of items – things broken, expensive things, work things – but I finally turned to see what this sign was all about and noticed at the bottom it was a parade sign – still up from Mardi Gras. You gotta love it – Mardi Gras – how romantic to meet your love during a day of absolute abandon and craziness.
It seems like the days are filled with lots to do and not enough time to do – my my – is that why I looked up and noticed it is March 18th – the year flying by like nothing.
At the St. Patty’s Day parade, we were all hanging out on the balcony talking about going to dinner at August later and then going dancing at MiMi’s after. Our visiting Turkish hunk turned to the woman he had his eyes on and said, “You are my woman – tonight – no dinner – no dancing – just you in my bed.”
I don’t think I have ever heard a better come on line – well, other than, “Are you lesbian?”
A friend gave an assessment of New Orleans – she said, you could marry a donut and no one would flinch around here. True, but alas, we like it that way.
This morning, coming across the Magnolia Bridge, I heard over the loudspeakers the children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag. I thought about having a child and s/he going off to school to do all of those things that children do as they grow up and I felt moved to tears – and I passed two teenage girls, late for school, crossing the bridge who looked at me as if I were some sort of nutball and realized that this sentimental moment I was having would have its day in reality when my child would come home from school and believe that all of my infinite wisdom was nothing greater than what a squirrel possessed.
Eudora Welty wrote a story called A Worn Path about a mother who has lost her son but yet she still takes the same route through a field as if he were still with her – mother and child matted down a path through the vegetation – the mother now, is incapable of leaving off the habit, walking along the worn path, forgetting the habit of love.
This morning, I walked through the park with Loca and thought of my life and how great it was before T, and now how incredibly expansive it feels with her in my life. My dream was a lover who wouldn’t put limits on me and I found one who held out her hand and beckoned me into an enchanted world where the yellow irises blooming on the banks of the lagoon seem more beautiful and I seem more beautiful and the world opens in dimensions I hadn’t imagined.
I thought about the love we share now and how over time the tie between us will deepen and a habit of love will form that will carry us through our life. And I hope to never take the gifts she gives me for granted. I don’t want to take her for granted because she pleases me.
Yesterday marked T’s unofficial move in date – it will be official when she brings her one chair, desk, lamp and two forks. She’s a minimalist among other things. When we were loading her stuff in the truck, I told her lesbians may u-haul but straight girls drive their own truck. A few boxes, a few bags and she asked me later, if it was overwhelming – and I smile even thinking of this notion – yes, she is overwhelming, but I’m a big strong girl and I roll out the red carpet to her sweet love and being and shout from the top of my demure lungs “OVERWHELM ME.”
A friend told me what she loves most about T is how funny she is – who knew, she said. Another commented T looks so stern in her photos – the warmth and humor and ease was a complete surprise when she met her. And yet another weighs in that our friend wrote her to say he met T and is in love with her. One by one the evidence mounts – she fits me to a T.
We met with an instant knowing, but I know you better through your friends and you know me better through my friends. And how I love how your friends love you and you love them. It resonates the layers and layers I see in you; seeing you through them, thickens the layers – grants them texture and depth – my love for you expands as if I assume a thousand eyes with which to see you, like a kaleidoscope of you – an expansive view handed to me – I put the toy kaleidoscope back on the shelf the other day, the one at Magic Box when I was there with Jake, because I knew your dislike of objects – I picked it up and looked through it and was mesmerized by the changing colors and shapes and it reminded me of you.