Ask the turtle
I was reading something somewhere about a woman who saw a turtle in the road and went through great stakes to get the turtle back down into the water only to learn that the turtle had been hiking for most likely days up from the water to go lay her eggs in a safe place and that she had basically just f-d up the turtle’s plan. The moral of the story is to ask the turtle what she wants rather than save her.
Since I’ve been in the habit of saving for a good bit of my life, I came to that conclusion without having to be told. Most people don’t want saving, don’t appreciate saving, and might even hit you over the head if you try to save them. You wrestle with these sorts of thoughts all the time – shouldn’t I be doing more, shouldn’t I who has so much help those who have so little, shouldn’t I be the bigger person in this conflict. You end up feeling as if you never are quite serving yourself or others, really, because all of it hinges on the delicate balance of individuality.
I recently had a conversation with a mother who had come to me before for advice and help only to return to the conversation and suggest that I’m wrong and she’s right. I would have never presumed otherwise. In my school of thought we’re both right because we are mothering as we see fit. In this case the turtle had asked me for help and then afterwards told me it was sticking with its original plan. Whatyagonnado?
June 14th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Forgive yourself, what else?