What I’ve learned
A long time ago in a disagreement with my estranged husband, I found him fighting tooth and nail on our material possessions and what I didn’t know then but know now is that was his emotional vocabulary (stunted, I admit, but nonetheless the only tools in his toolbox). Luckily, after a bit of time I understood that the fight was toxic and that it was poisoning me and so I said, have at it, it’s all yours and walked away. The day I did that monkeys jumped off my back. I was reading a media post this morning that quoted Pete Dexter’s line from Paris Trout: “Poison snake bites you, you’re poison too.”
That is why when it came to my separation of property with my last husband, I had learned a few things – nothing can make up for the hurt and sadness you are feeling and most certainly not any material objects so best to approach things fair and amicably. We did I’m thankful to say.
Which is why when it came to my mother’s belongings, I was like, don’t need them, none can replace the love or her presence in my life, although I do look at the Spanish vase she gave me every day on my countertop and think of her – it is exotic and beautiful and old-fashioned yet timeless.
Poison snake bites you, you’re poison. I learned they blow the horn to charge in battle and to retreat. Sometimes it is better to walk away and keep your blood pumping pure.