Tears
Tearful conversation with my dear sweet N – we miss each other, we miss our home – we are still so goddamn fortunate it is unbelievable. Got a slew of care packages from the people I work with today, stuff like you wouldn’t believe, all so thoughtful. There is so much love in the world – I am the bessed one. I need to call L – he called earlier. I just read what S commented on – no one in this world could pity S – like W is want to say – “it’s an expression” – I feel like I got a sandbag on my head cause I stood on it last night – I threw myself out of detox in a violent manner and today feel surprisingly better.
N has a rash all over and can’t eat. She has post traumatic stress. I can’t tell if I am pre, mid, or post trauma. I just know that I feel so fortunate that it’s hard to feel loss. Yet.