Meditation for TGIF
When mom went in the hospital, I didn’t call the rest of the family because in many ways I feel as if they abandoned her some time ago – except for two sister in laws, the boys and their children have carved a life for themselves that does not include her. And hey, I was already dealing with my sister’s hysteria over trying to control me and what was happening with mom from Atlanta (my ability to just hang up the phone has been the best protocol in dealing with her). Yesterday, one of them found out she was in the hospital and so late yesterday to today, they have been coming by to see her.
When I saw them come into her room tonight, I thought to myself that it is amazing how this once very enmeshed family became a pod family and how the pods feel no qualms about just stepping into my mother’s life at a moment in time as if there was an ah ha moment when they remembered that she is someone to them.
I watched them pour into the hospital room, showing mom photos of their kids on their Iphones, reminiscing with her about when they were babies and she did this or that with them, and I saw her eyes light up because finally after all her loneliness and isolation, here she was surrounded like the queen bee with her brood around her.
For reasons that are not clear to me, I feel dispassionate towards the outcome of my mother’s journey this time, unattached to the comings and goings of my siblings and their broods, and my excitement over my future is contained within a small few who share my enthusiasm for what floats my boat or not, because it really doesn’t matter as long as I can lay my head down in peace every night and rise up with joy in my heart.
#7 from the Tao te Ching:
The Tao is infinite, eternal.
Why is it eternal?
It was never born;
thus it can never die.
Why is it infinite?
It has no desires for itself;
thus it is present for all beings.
The Master stays behind;
that is why she is ahead.
She is detached from all things;
that is why she is one with them.
Because she has let go of herself,
she is perfectly fulfilled.