My Journey to Snellville, GA

The motto for Snellville is “Welcome to Snellville Where Everybody is Somebody.”

Last time I was seeing E, I said I still harbor a lot of anger towards N and I don’t think I could ever forgive him. She said to focus on “my journey” where everybody is not somebody if I don’t want them to be. I decide.

I was sitting in AA’s new house after having made fresh Margaritas and chips with salsa and was giving her the backstory of my current life, catching her up to how, what, why and who. She said do you regret what you did and given the opportunity would you do it again? I said I would have done it differently.

Leaving Steve and having an affair with N has changed my life forever. I don’t know if I would have left Steve if there hadn’t been N, but there was, so there is no way to go back and figure out the what ifs. But in some strange way, my altered self is a much better fit for me than who I was before even if the old me and the new me haven’t yet developed a perfect fit.

My biggest regret was having lost W in the entire equation. He is a loss I cannot replace in my life. But even losing him made me realize how important children are in my life and I know I will adopt or foster a child. There will be people who are age appropriate who will need me to take care of them. All of my brothers have taken in strays their whole married lives – B now has E living with him, since her mother died and she needs some structure in starting college. R&K started their marriage with a foster child Frankie, who they adored and then proceeded to get others through school in some form or fashion aside from having their own two daughters. My oldest brother B has taken in almost all of his siblings at one time or another.

I love being part of a big family.

AA said when she looked into the future she saw me with a child and with a significant other. I said don’t stop with one child, I’ll take as many as come my way. When I was pulling out of her driveway I said, “are you going to miss me?” and she said, “I wish you’d have never come because now I know what I am going to be missing.”

2 Responses to “My Journey to Snellville, GA”

  1. Lisa Says:

    As a former foster child, and current child advocate:

    Relationships are complicated, but life is redemptive. If you love children, there are so many children out there who need that kind of love.

    Lisa
    http://sunshinegirlonarainyday.blogspot.com/

  2. Rachel Says:

    Thanks, I believe life is redemptive also. I’m interested in learning more about foster care as I am 47 and adopting a new born may not be the best option for me. I read your blog – recently I learned that someone I know had sexually abused a child in his care. At the same time my friend in Atlanta was telling me she was with someone whose husband had abused a foster child in their care. My nephew is in jail for selling drugs – he got three years – the husband got no jail term. Personally, I’m of the opinion both of these men should have been tied to a rock and pecked alive by birds of prey – jail terms would have been too good for either of them.

    Anyway, I’ve been somewhat gunshy of fostering a child, because years ago I worked for an attorney here in New Orleans who adopted a physically abused infant and through much trial and tribulation, trying to adopt the child etc., the court kept giving the child back to his abusive parents because it is the court’s directive to reunite the child with its biological parents no matter if they are trying to kill him. Lunacy.

    You mention on your blog what about foster to adopt? Is adopting a foster child not the usual path?

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