The essentials of nonessentials
A friend of mine whose girlfriend is in another city working on a project says that they speak daily but still “it doesn’t bridge the gap because there are so many little things that happen during the day that don’t get said or get lost in that hour phone conversation.”
Friends were making fun of T and me because we speak a couple of times a day – but the truth is we are building our foundation right now and we’re having to do it long distance and through bad connections sometimes – within this framework, one might argue that I might not need to know that she has switched the cookies she likes but the truth is this detail is important to me and for us.
It’s an organic entity all of its own – the relationship – there’s me, there’s her, and there’s us – the us is a nascent web of knowing and discovery that gets more layered with time – but for it to be strong, invincible, fit for Wonder Woman to protect, or simply as a magic blanket to spread over us on an ill formed day, her minutiae needs to spin a web to my minutiae – new cookie information is now threaded to a vomiting dog digest, and so on and so on.
At the end of the day, when you’re standing at a party, and you look over and see your loved one, there is a wink, the nod, a familiar look, the knowing be it small, medium, large, or extra large details that insulates you.