I want the same thing as you, but I can’t
Had a heart to heart with a good friend last night who has been involved with a married man, one who has three kids. He tells her he wants to leave his wife but he is not doing it. I shared with her a story about a man and a woman who were so deeply in love the sun shone on them and them alone, as bright as a fiery planet or universe or galaxy, read: it burned fucking hot. And as the day for reckoning approached, the man called her on the phone and said we need to talk. And she knew what he was going to say. With a heavy heart and dark sunglasses, she drove to the jobsite and he sat her down, her knees between his, he placed his hands on her thighs and held tight and then he, a man not at ease with speaking from his heart, not at ease with his own emotions, looked her in the eyes and said, “I want the same thing you do. I have the same long-term plan. But when I put my kid to sleep every night, I can’t see how to get from here to there. I can’t. Even though I love you.”
The best way to avoid heart break of this order is to avoid falling in love with a married man at all costs. Because the heartache never stops, it just lessens over time, but it will break your heart so deeply, that that part of your heart will never love the same way again.