Winning the prize
I admit I am the prize. But in wondering why we are in each other’s lives right now, I came to this realization: You are here to tell me that I can love again and get my mojo back. I am in your life as the white elephant in the room, the one with the white lace bra, forcing you to face the big empty space you are creating in your life (again) – it’s the space you have been trying to fill forever now – you find someone who fills it up so perfectly and then you see flaws – in them and you – in us – and so you open the big gaping hole back up and find someone else to fill it – and then you open and refill – and open, refill – and open, refill – it becomes a pattern – it’s what you do – but then you start getting older and you think, damn, it’s exhausting this opening, refilling, opening, refilling, does it ever end? And you start seeing that the common thread is you – and so you have to start thinking, hurting, working, to see if you can figure it out or at least get what you want which is for that hole inside of you to shrink and shrink and shrink all by itself, to where you are the only one in the room and you feel whole inside and good, and then you find someone who is whole inside and good, and different patterns emerge. Good ones. Great ones. Better ones.
Nonetheless, today you are the grand prize winner of one business class ticket to Las Vegas since it was you who found my missing mojo.
The real prize remains elusive.