Radical Affirmation for Today
For those who know me and know that I own my baldness just as much as I owned my badass big red hair, this will come as a surprise. Not what I did, but that I had to even think about it as a radical move. Last night, before I went to bed, I changed my profile photograph on Linked In to one of me bald.
It has been three years this month since I became hair free (read: my hair fell out because of Hashimoto’s and a series of stress events that tore down my immune system), and I have left my Linked In photo alone as a vestige to my professional persona. I did this not for me, but for others. I wear a wig in Boston, not for me, but for others. I left my hair-photo up not for me, but for those sources who I speak with who don’t know anything about the changes in me.
Last night, I decided that I did not want to do for others anymore. I want to do me. And so I changed my photograph and this was a radical affirmation of acceptance for me. It is one step in many on my path to freedom because as Janis said, freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.
Before
After
For those of you who will look at the old photograph and think I was beautiful then, I would say look closer and you will see the real me now.
March 11th, 2015 at 10:39 am
There is a radiance and a spark in the Rachel of now that outshines the Rachel in the old photo, pretty though she was. You are beautiful, and seem to have mastered the balance of being gentle and bold. I recognize it as that thing that occurs when you own what’s yours.
March 11th, 2015 at 10:47 am
Thanks so much, Keri – I appreciate your kind words. So many who knew me then, have a hard time with what I look like now. They don’t realize when they say “you look(ed) so beautiful, your hair was so beautiful, I liked you better when…” that what they are saying is that I’ve lost my beauty along with my hair. But I’ve taken my hair-free look as a new interpretation of me, putting aside superficial and embracing what’s real. My biggest affirmation was the day it was all gone, Tin came home and caught me in the shower (I had wanted to brace him for it) and he declared, “Wow! You look beautiful!” It gave me the courage to step out. But like you say “owning it” has been my journey – for the first six months, I didn’t own it and everyone thought I was sick – I was hugged, patted, smiled at thinly by sympathetic strangers – and now people just assume I shaved my hair off myself! That is owning it. One guy at the mayor’s ball said, “Your style is killing it” as if this was my own imagining, my own creation. Now I secretly worry my hair might grow back – ha! Thanks again for your response. Love, me
March 11th, 2015 at 4:23 pm
you rock it Rachel!!
March 11th, 2015 at 4:42 pm
I think I’ve said this before, but the bindi draws a person’s attention straight into your eyes. And I’m as lizard-brained at heart as any other straight cis man. I look at your new picture and I think of the scene from Cool Runnings when Yule Brenner corners the little wimpy guy: “I see pride. I see power.”
March 11th, 2015 at 4:52 pm
Thanks Diana!
March 11th, 2015 at 4:54 pm
Thanks, Mark – I do appreciate it and I think that what a woman over 50 most wants to hear is that she has “power” – believe me.
March 11th, 2015 at 5:18 pm
I love your baldness and I love your boldness! Thank you for not hiding your light under a bushel or a wig!
March 11th, 2015 at 5:43 pm
Albert T Cooper III The “now” picture looks more radient, confident and happy. It also looks for professional than the “before.”
Joycelyn Green Askew Love it, simply beau-T-ful
Rachel Dangermond Albert T Cooper III taken by none other than my family photographer Marc Pagani
D.k. Smith Hope to see you this weekend @retreat Rachel Dangermond
Rachel Dangermond D.k. Smith I’m looking forward to it! Glad you are coming – I was starting to think all my peeps went last weekend.
D.k. Smith
Nicole Casimire Henley I love this piece you wrote Rachel Dangermond…#inspired
Rachel Dangermond Thanks Nicole Casimire Henley y’all are emboldening me to do more radical things in my life!
Nicole Casimire Henley Fearlessness is a beautiful thang! Shining your Light gives others the comfort and permission to do the same…
Debbie Berkowitz Namer Your beauty inside and out always shine through!! ; ) lul
Tracey Wehunt I have known you since the 10th grade.Your hair was NOT what drew me in……it was your spirit. It will always be your aura,your soul and spirit that people are drawn to seek out. Think of how much money you save….no haircuts, no highlights, no having a bad hair day nor will you ever have to ask ..up do or down! It’s always going to be your spirit. Love to you & yours
Tamie Collins Markee Great Article ! Beautiful Pic !
Constance Adler You appear to be illuminated from within by a brilliant and holy light! Maybe that scared your hair away?
Mark Folse Today is a Good Day to Die.
Mark Folse Oh, wait, my boss didn’t like that one either when that was my response for one, and she was a Huge trekkie.
Keri Rachal I already commented on the blog site (does anyone else still do that?) and you responded. Sometimes people mean well but they don’t think before they speak. I’m sorry I didn’t know you before and can only go by a photograph. You’re beautiful in both, but in the most recent I see contentment in addition to all the other good things. If you can look like that while having a child Tin’s age, you possess life secrets that some of us will never know.
2 hrs · Unlike · 1
Melisande NappyRoots Short-Colomb …girl y0u glowin’ …
Lolet Ayita Boutte You wear it so well…Touché, Rachel.
Sandra Hanson Gawdjus
Mark Folse https://youtu.be/_Gqwi7Y96sk
Cool Runnings- Pride
Yul Brenner: Look in the mirror, and tell me what you see! Junior Bevill: I see Junior. Yul Brenner: You see…
YOUTUBE.COM
Rachel Dangermond Keri Rachal I love that you responded on my blog because I do spend some time fretting over giving away content to FB that continues to make millions and billions over what we all say right here. And thank you all for your lovely feedback and for being my friends on FB and otherwise. And I think my hair was loved off or flamed off by the love I have inside of me.
March 11th, 2015 at 6:01 pm
Thank you Takema – it takes light to see light!
March 13th, 2015 at 7:30 am
You Rachel ladies are so inspiring – love your freedom to be you!
At age 18, she was finally free. But not for the reasons you’d think.
http://www.upworthy.com/at-age-18-she-was-finally-free-but-not-for-the-reasons-youd-think?c=ufb2
Diana Shaw
March 16th, 2015 at 11:47 pm
We have gone years without talking or seeing each other — so I have not seen some of your transitions with hair. We have known each other for over 20 years and I think the light that I see in the new picture is the best look of “you” — I see your inside on the outside. I love the new picture of you.
March 17th, 2015 at 8:13 am
Wanda – coming from a high priestess with light all around and inside of you, I take this as high praise. Love, R