Don’t Save Me I’m Drowning
Today we watched the dog swimming in a circle splashing like crazy and so we went out to find out what was going on – a woman said the dog had fallen out of a pickup truck and must have hurt his back – so we took the canoe out with a borrowed leash from a bystander and as we were pulling away a man said “He’s just having fun.” I told him what the woman said and he refuted it, saying the dog had jumped out the back of the truck and jumped in to have fun. As we paddled closer I saw that it was a Pitt Bull who growled at us and my desire to save it faded. Good thing, because turns out it was just having fun. So we came back.
As you stand back and watch yourself from the outside in and you hear yourself asking the same questions over and over – do I wish for anything more, when I’m happy now? Am I happy? Or am I restless? If I wish for something specific, how will I know if that is what is best for me? Do I know? What if I just wish for a macro joie de vivre – is that a cop out? – an unwillingness to be certain? – we can only be certain of what we know – how can we wish for the unknown with certainty?
Why aren’t people satisfied with the status quo? Why do we strive to improve upon what perhaps doesn’t need improving? What do I really want? Would I know it when I got it? What if I have all I want but I will never know that because I’m not meant to know? Would you believe in a God you understood? What if God has the same questions?
I’m here in the middle of my bayou going around in circles, kicking up my heels and splashing – in other words, having a good time – it just looks like I’m drowning.