The week unfolds
Sunday night – N came back without the Snake from Austin and I made her some delicious black drum and cabbage and sweet potato fritters. Yum. It was good to see her since she lives right down the street and we both seem to have our dance cards full these days. So we made a date since the Snake is gone till Sunday – Markey’s for the downtown St. Patty’s day parade – and dancing after. I told her to rest up.
Meanwhile – the week ahead is going to be full – J is finishing the framing of the addition, I start my hour and half sessions with E, and take L to the airport on Thursday – truck in for the a/c – etc.
Mom did her first weekend shift after recuperating from her operation. I had a terrific run midday today – I went by the LaLa and walked up the stairs to my office – the window by my desk looks right at the bayou – it was exciting to feel it for the first time.
And color – I want a copper red but all my reading says it makes a small house look smaller and fades quicker not to mention retaining heat and causing more moisture – made me think Steve might be right to keep the house color light. But I keep seeing it as a red house. So to be determined.
L, who is making dinner for G tonight, called me from the Whole Foods parking lot because he got in the car and started balling his eyes out. It’s this PTS that everyone keeps having – it’s like Katrina doesn’t go away – it just haunts you. When N was finished with dinner I told her about L and she welped up saying that in Austin they had seen everyone who they hadn’t seen since Katrina and how emotional the reunion was and how she can’t believe she went through what she did at 50 – “At 20, yeah, bring it on, but 50?”
But I’m getting restless at the Can – want to be in my house and have stuff out. Particularly making dinner – it’s what can I make with the stuff I have available rather than being able to do whatever or consult my cookbooks.
N said she was thinking I ought to start thinking about dating – I didn’t tell her I have a pact with E to not go there – but serendipitously “If I can’t have you” came on right when we were talking and she got a big laugh when I sang it for her full on – she said well I know how you feel but you are going to have to start thinking about it because we girls like our men – and I said you know, I’ll pass for now. We’re both going to see about joining Muses and I entertain the aspect of meeting more women friends and people outside my current sphere rather than anything romantic – I’m not getting over my heartache easily and I don’t even have any desire to let anyone into my life until I get whole – which could be a long journey – and that’s fine with me.
Don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day
When there’s got to be no chance for me
My life would end and it doesn’t matter how I cry
My tears of love are a waste of time
If I turn away am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do
* If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody baby
If I can’t have you ah ah, I can’t have you
I don’t want nobody baby, if I can’t have you ah ah
Can’t let go and it doesn’t matter how I try
I gave it all so easily to you my love
To dreams that never will come true
Am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do