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I had to remind myself yet again while I sipped my black coffee out in the backyard this morning of what I am doing here. Answer: Living.

Recently, I was caught up again in the lemmings’ path in the real estate market, which heated up and there was this GET IT NOW OR PERISH feeling about housing. I found a house, a lovely old queen on North Broad and I instantly imagined it gloriously restored and amended a bit to make the perfect home. Only at a cost. Not only the amount of money, the amount of time (read: living deferred time) and emotional cost.

A friend of mine is in from New York and he said as he put his arm around me and held me tight: you’ll know it when it’s right, and this appears to need you to put everything you have in it meaning it will take take take not give to you. Sound familiar?

Ahhh, my friends, where would I be without them?

So this morning, I sipped my coffee and Tin played with his trains in his room inventing colorful stories about the journeys they were on. Percy goes back to the world. Thomas is going up up up into the ocean and Spencer is staying in the station. I thought about my narrative again, and how I would like to write this moment forward.

I want to write about each precious day and my being in it. So this morning when I saw the mourning dove on the fence and immediately thought “egg abuser” because I remember the doves who built a nest in my window box filled with herbs on Mason Street (San Francisco) then promptly abandoned the eggs laid there.

Perhaps this dove is different? I don’t know.

The whirly gig that I’m on has stopped in freeze frame at very similar situations/people/places as I’ve experienced in the past, but I’m changed so I have to now re-evaluate whether the situation/people/place has too – that’s where I seem to be spending my energy as of late – that and keeping an open mind and open heart and trying not to judge even the mourning doves based on past experiences. Because obviously not all mourning doves abandon their eggs or there wouldn’t be so damn many of them cooing in my backyard.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 28th, 2013 at 10:05 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.