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The black swans that populated City Park were taken away by the Federal Flood and then replaced by kindly zoo keepers from other parts. Only those didn’t last either. Seems a black swan, like a black young man, are hard to keep alive in this city. And yet they are so beautiful to behold.

Yesterday, at the sculpture garden in City Park, the groundskeepers had cordoned off a nest where the black swan was keeping her five eggs. She was pulling her feathers out and tugging on the weeds in the ground to continue to fluff her nest.

I thought about that swan this morning and how we’ve been waiting and waiting for her or one of her to give birth to some baby swans having tried every year with no success. I was walking Heidi through the park, something I haven’t done in a number of days, weeks, since Tatjana moved out with Heidi.

I realize now that Loca had actually been a godsend to me, keeping me walking every morning to be able to cycle through the craziness. In her absence, I quit walking and started smoking. Obviously, the former was a better option in hindsight.

But I’m here to say I’m proud of myself. Yesterday, my friend with the lot came by and said that his appraisal had come in so very low he was having it redone. Then my agent called to say there is a glitch with my appraisal and the buyers had rewritten their offer. And I can’t sell the house for what they are now offering. So rather than pick up a pack of cigarettes, I just took a few deep breaths and said “I believe in the bigger picture. This is small.”

As I walked through the park and thought about the black swan’s eggs, and thought about the young man who was gunned down in the Lafitte area yesterday, and thought about whether or not I was keeping or selling the LaLa, it seemed to me that nature has a way of cycling through its rapture and horror seamlessly, why can’t I?

This entry was posted on Friday, January 25th, 2013 at 9:58 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.